Anyway, this glorious, glorious lady, flanked by a choir of lute-playing Chinese cherubs, radiating high-fives and smiles from every inch of her golden, saintly face, prescribed for me some mouthwash.
Allow me to translate the front of the bottle, roughly:
Chlorhexidine Awesome Sparkle Magic Joy Oral Rinse Cure Anything in Only 24 Hours
Among the active ingredients on the back:
Unicorn tears, angel sweat, elvish love.
Product may contain trace amounts of The Blood of Christ.
So yeah, 6 canker sores healed, my gums are not swollen or painful, and my energy is back. And yes, that is an OTC symbol in the upper right of the bottle.