Friday, February 5, 2010

Sickness Wrap-up

...or, An Angel Named Dr. Zhang Hai. So, i went to the dentist yesterday and she checked me out. She asked all the normal questions, do you brush, floss? I do both, brush twice a day, floss every evening. When was your last cleaning? It was almost exactly one year ago, in the states. I told her about the flu i had all week. She was unconvinced that they were related. After checking me out, she said very simply: you have some plaque and bacteria built up at the base of your teeth. Now, I know what she said, but all i heard was "THE GUM DISEASE GINGIVITIS!", since that's what all the toothpaste commercials call it. It's never just gingivitis, you have to include it's full name.

Anyway, this glorious, glorious lady, flanked by a choir of lute-playing Chinese cherubs, radiating high-fives and smiles from every inch of her golden, saintly face, prescribed for me some mouthwash.

THIS mouthwash.

Allow me to translate the front of the bottle, roughly:
Chlorhexidine Awesome Sparkle Magic Joy Oral Rinse Cure Anything in Only 24 Hours

Among the active ingredients on the back:
Unicorn tears, angel sweat, elvish love.
Product may contain trace amounts of The Blood of Christ.

So yeah, 6 canker sores healed, my gums are not swollen or painful, and my energy is back. And yes, that is an OTC symbol in the upper right of the bottle.



Anonymous said...

Yea, High Fives all around!!!
We were worried.
Mom & Dad

Anonymous said...

bring me a bottle next time your here