Kevin's Dim Summary

Chinese New Year - Xiaoshan

2012-01-31T16:38:00.000+08:00

Arriving in Esther's hometown of Xiaoshan (sh-yow shaan), about 45 minutes east of Hangzhou, i mention to her how much warmer it was than Beijing. Generally the Hangzhou area is eight to twelve degrees Fahrenheit warmer than Beijing. Plus, i thought i was tough, that i could brave the cold because i grew up in Chicago where the wind chill takes you far below zero.

But somewhere in China there exists an imaginary line. Above this line, homes have central heating, and below it, you can see your breath indoors during the winter. On Nov 15th, they turn on the central heating in Beijing. In Xiaoshan however, homes do not have this feature, presumably because it is "the south" and therefore does not get cold. In Esther's home, located in this balmy southern town, my clothing for the next three days would be:

Two pairs of socks
Pajama pants
Jeans
Long-sleeve undershirt
Sweatshirt
Thick winter coat
Hat and Scarf
Gloves, when practical, i.e. when not eating.

I was still cold even wearing all that. You start the morning off ok, still warm from bed. After a few hours of bone-numbing cold, your core body temperature is so far down, it takes an hour to warm up. Fortunately, Esther's bedroom has a heater, and we hibernated for 12 hours each night, watching movies, not wanting to face the cold, cruel world outside that room each morning. I ask why they don't get heaters for the rest of the house. She said her family didn't mind it, that they were really tough, li hai.

But regardless of the cold, it was a really nice holiday. I bonded with her parents, but more so with her mother who is simply more extroverted. I call her Wang Lei Ma Ma, literally Wang Lei's Mother. (Esther's name is Wang Lei, Wang being their family name.) I call her father Lao Wang, meaning Old Wang. This is appropriate and respectful, but they also find it hilarious at the same time. I do not know why.

Her parents and family all speak a local dialect, which is basically unrecognizable from Mandarin. No one speaks English. They switch to Mandarin when talking with me, or when they think i'm paying attention. Her mom speaks pretty clearly, but Lao Wang less so. He likes to use unusual words to describe things, and in return, he sometimes gets blank stares or friendly nods. Esther explained to him that he should speak to me like i am 5 years old, but he doesn't understand that concept yet.

Esther has no brothers or sisters, but she has cousins who look out for her like brothers would. I'm sure they have names, but they were introduced to me as Da Ge and Xiao Ge Ge (big brother and little-big brother). I talked with them for almost an hour, discussing the best cities to buy fake watches (Guangzhou), how cold it was (very), and how great Esther is (super). It was clear i had won their approval when Da Ge toasted me at lunch, "I look forward to drinking with you this time again next year."

I met another set of cousins, all three were men, and their names were Lao Da, Lao Er, and Lao San, meaning Oldest, Second Born, Third Born. Esther explained this to me: in a family gathering, the position in the family is more important than personal identity. Also, they probably knew i'd forget their actual names almost instantly.

I ate multiple dinners and lunches with her extended family. There was always a men's table and separate table for women and children. I was received at the men's table, where cigarette smoking and baijiu drinking were the main activities. I stuck to beer.

I didn't bring a camera on this trip, so i only took photos using my iPhone. Most really aren't worth sharing, but here's one good one:

Xiao Ge Ge, dressed in a winter jacket, wearing a scarf, pouring shots of baijiu, smoking a cigarette. Classic.

After three nights in Xiaoshan, we left her parents house for Suzhou and Hangzhou.

~Kev

2012 Holiday Season

2012-01-19T17:36:00.000+08:00

One New Year celebration down, one to go. I spent two weeks back in the states in Chicago and Colorado. Stateside was good, saw my whole family and a few friends in Chicago. Whirlwind trips are hard though and I always leave wishing i could have done more, seen more friends, spent more "quality time" with everyone, but in the end, the only ones i really saw that much of were the rents. Don't mistake me, i love them infinity, they are wonderful parents in every way, but they already visited me in China for a month last year. My siblings all have in-law families to whom they have obligations, so we all have approximately 10 hours together on whatever day we celebrate Christmas, which this year was the 23rd.

For Christmas, i once again came home with loads of presents, a whole separate bagful, for my nieces and nephews. I like to think of myself as Santa-ish nowadays, and the similarities are many:

I have a fluffy beard.
I am jolly, or at least optimistic.
I travel from across the world and arrive an hour before i left.
I arrive with a whole bag of presents built by little people.

I earned the honor of being Santa this year, passing out the presents. However, since i was dressed in a panda suit, i was known as Panda Claus.

Colorado was wonderful as always. I spent two nights with my sister's family in Evergreen, a night in boulder with my college friends Will and Andrea, and the remaining three nights with Larkin in his mountain house of awesome, wonderful people. Highlights include eating and drinking at the Great Divide, Mountain Sun, and Avery breweries, breakfast and a morning hike with Larkin, strolling pearl street, ultimate frisbee in Boulder, and, of course, New Years Eve. Those same panda pajamas were my costume for the "Black and White" party we attended.

I would have gone snowboarding as a panda also, but, well, snowboarding wasn't worthwhile. Cuz pandas don't like cold. Also Colorado had one of the worst early ski seasons on record, so i didn't even bother with the $108 lift tickets. Breckenridge was pretty wonderful anyway, even though none of the people i hoped would come, came. I had rented a place for anyone who could make it. I thought to myself, "if you rent it, they will come"... but in the end, i chilled by myself and a few random people i met along the way. Fortunately, Breck is a really, really nice little town. I didn't mind having some quiet time.

So now i'm back in Beijing, just finishing up two weeks of work. We just got over one of the worst bouts of pollution in recent memory. Fortunately, i'm headed to Hangzhou for Chinese New Year (Jan 23rd) for a week with Esther. It'll be my first CNY with a Chinese family, which should be, well, i don't know yet. I'll... let you know? Anyway, i cannot wait to see her, so it won't be anything but fantastic.

Oh, and here's a picture of the boarding gate, leaving San Francisco for Beijing.

"Now boarding seating area 1" sounds a lot like "Quick! Everybody run! There's only room for half of you on board!" in Chinese.

~Kev

Philippines 2011 - Wrapup

2011-12-17T09:31:00.000+08:00

Rising at the unholy hour of 6:10am begins what i already know will be a long trip back to Beijing. I hear the tinkling of dishes outside my room. Breakfast has been served. Banana pancakes and Nescafe await me, with mangoes for dessert, served the right way, sliced in cubes but left attached to the skin. The mosquitoes are active, and i debate applying OFF Lotion to my exposed skin, but also do not relish the thought of traveling all day feeling slimy and sticky. I remember Mike Ashmore's philosophy of always keeping a set of clean clothes for the last day of a trip, so you can travel feeling fresh. Lotion aside, i will not have that luxury today, for my trip is long, consisting of bed à motorcycle à boatà busà taxià planeà shuttle à plane à taxià bed. There are eight degrees of transportation separating me from bed.

I decide against the lotion, opting instead for vigilance, for i am a mosquito ninja, defending my body against these silent little assholes that, like me, are just trying to enjoy a nice breakfast. I get bit four times and kill one.
I apply some lotion.

I ride on the back of a motorcycle to the port and pay the guy 10 pesos, about a quarter. I am plenty early for the 7am boat, which costs 80 pesos. The boat ride is uneventful and i am calm, because traveling is easy, because i am an excellent traveler, awaking at the perfect time, eating breakfast, settling my bill, finding a motorcycle and bargaining for 10 pesos even when he made the logical case that it should be 20 because i also have a heavy backpack, finding the right boat, getting on that boat, sitting on the boat... i am great at this game.

The bus to Cebu City is scheduled for 9:30, but there is one ready to leave when my boat docks at 7:45am. Schedules are confusing in the Philippines. I get on, and pay the requisite 163 pesos. The bus is not air-conditioned, but the bus is also not full, and the windows open wide, like the vertical sliding windows in yellow school buses, the ones without the safety latch to keep it halfway up. I purchase some fried banana chips and some popcorn from roadside vendors when the bus stops. I am riding in style. I am very good at this.

I am so very good at this game, i even recognize where we are when we enter Cebu City. I think this is where i should get off to be closer to the airport. I ask the bus driver.

"Should i get off here for the airport?"
"Yes, Ma'am Sir, you should get off here."

I get off. There is a taxi on the street, and it backs up from halfway down the block to pick me up, unbeckoned by me. He just knows, because he is the ninja equivalent of the taxi world. I say to him, "the airport". He nods, a knowing nod people nod to each other when they both know the other person is very good at their job, confident, like a job-doing ninja, and no further explanation or questioning is required.

I arrive at the airport at 12:30. My flight to Manila is at 5:00pm. I am early. This is good, because my flight from Manila to Beijing is at 7:30, and there is only 90 minutes between connections. This is plenty of time for Manila's small terminal 3, but, being the travel-ninja that i am, i do not want to challenge fate.

I approach the counter with purpose and explain i have a ticket for 5pm but would like to fly standby for the 2pm flight, to ensure i have enough time for my connection. He says that is not possible.

"Why is it not possible?"
"We are not allowed to do that."
"Are there seats on that plane?"
"Yes, there are plenty of seats."
"You know, if you put me on the earlier flight, you can resell my seat for the 5pm flight. You take a empty seat and fill it, moments before the plane takes off, just to make sure it would have stayed empty, and then you put me in that seat, freeing up a chance to sell my seat again. You understand?"
"I understand. You may purchase a ticket on the earlier flight for 6000 pesos, if you like."
"No, I would not like. I would definitely not like."

I did not like that, but i got my ticket, and had lunch. Being the seasoned travel-veteran that i am, armed with plans B through E at all times, i know there's another option: the gate agent. I am so devious and clever. I ask.

"Sorry, Ma'am Sir, that is not possible."

You have got to be kidding me. I'm here. Three hours early. You have seats. There might be a problem with the next airplane. It could be delayed. I would miss my international flight because you won't let me on this one. It will be all your fault.
Note, i might have but probably did not actually say all that. But i probably did.

"No, Ma'am Sir, it would be your fault. You should have booked the earlier flight."

Crap. Valid point. Well... but the bus wasn't supposed to leave until 9:30, and i, because i employed advanced ninjamindtricks, made a bus leave at exactly when my boat arrived, thus getting me here in time, against all odds... how can everyone else be so incompetent? So unreasonable? How could they put me in this position!

The flight leaves. I am not on it. I sit in the waiting room and they have movies playing. I watch Open Season, a cartoon movie about a talking bear who lives with a forest ranger but gets sent out in the wild during hunting season. The bear makes friends with lots of other woodland creatures and together they outsmart the hunters. I am not entertained. I do not believe the plot is very plausible. I watch anyway.

...and my flight is delayed. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... untimes are over. It's time to get serious. I remind the gate crew, who is different from before, that this is all their fault. They had a chance to put me on that flight, and they chose not to. I suggest they call ahead and alert the Manila ground crew of my predicament. I am told the ground crew is aware, and i am to find a connections agent upon arrival. I do not like Cebu Pacific Air at this moment. I am not entertained.

I'm asleep on the plane. We land in Manila at 7:15. AWAKE! My brain is working fast. I calculate how i am going to fly over the 10 rows of people inside the airplane, be the first one out the door, taking giant strides as i step on the tops of seats to run over and past people. We stand up and i advance one row before the aisle is full. I gently push my way ahead, 2 more rows, then we disembark -I AM READY TO RUN- and board a shuttle. Crap.

Then i am off the shuttle! First person off! I am running, fast! I sprint up the escalator, down the hallway, and since i am running on carpet, i feel like i am flying, noiselessly, they way you do when you sprint down a hotel hallway. I am running down another escalator, scanning the baggage claim below for these "connections agents". I am still running when i hear my name. I turn, immediately locating the source of the sound, it's A Connections Agent!, and i run to her.

"Hello Mister Kevin, i see you didn't leave enough time for your connection."

Seriously lady? We have to do this now?

She says my flight has already boarded, that they are closing the gates, i will have to catch the next flight to Beijing, which is two days later. But we are still running?

We arrive at the check-in counter, breezing past security guards with shotguns, because i'm with A Connections Agent!, and also because they can see i am excellent ninja at traveling. I should be called Kevinja from now on. Must remember that for later...

At the counter, i'm pulled behind the computers, i am given forms, onto which i scribble things, i relinquish my passport, with which they do things, i am given a ticket and then MORE RUNNING! Sprinting! I am in a video game, dodging carts, kids, old people, signs, i slide under a rope, jump over a rolling barrel, spin kick a henchman, all fast! High Score! And then we wait at document inspection for two excruciating minutes.

THEN MORE RUNNING! I run directly to the front of security, launch my bag through the X-ray, run through with my shoes, phone, change, everything. The Connections Agent, who i now realize is also a ninja, reaches into the X-ray and grabs my bag, lobs it to me, and we're running again.

We sprint for 3 minutes all the way to my gate. Kids point and cheer. Teenagers are awestruck. Twenty-something's pump their fists in slow motion. I have just won a marathon. They held the plane for me.

I AM SO EXCELLENT AT THIS GAME.

We are delayed taking off, but then we do. And when we land, i am confused, because somehow we have landed at 11pm, almost 90 minutes early. But we are not in Beijing, we are in Shanghai, because Beijing's smog/pollution is so thick that no plane can take off or land. We will have to wait for the smogllution to clear. And wait we do, on the tarmac, for 4 more hours. During that time, i occupy my brain by writing this post in my head, but since i've just finished AHWOSG, all my thoughts are intertwined with Egger's style of writing. I can't get him out of my head. I decide i'm going to try to write my recap his style.

When we finally arrive in Beijing, it is 5am, and i am in bed by 6. I did not get up at 7am for work, even though it was Monday morning. Even ninjas need a rest after 24 hours of travel.

~Kevinja

Note: this post was definitely inspired by AHWOSG. You all should read it. The book, not this post. I mean, read the post too, but i assume you already did if you made it this far.

Philippines 2011 - Part 4 - Malapascua

2011-12-14T21:39:00.002+08:00

Esther and most of Big Brother left Manila Sunday night. A handful of us enjoyed the final party, which was small and reserved compared to previous years which have featured fire dancing, marching bands, and unlimited rum. We called it an early night and i caught a flight to Cebu the next morning.

My destination was Malapascua, an island off the northern coast of Cebu, one of the Philippines' main travel hubs. Reaching Malapascua is long but easy process: fly to Cebu City, taxi to the bus station, 4 hour bus ride north, 45 minute boat ride to the island. My flight arrive at 10:30am, and i arrived at Malapascua around 6pm. Seven and a half hours very well spent.

The name Malapascua translated from Spanish means Bad Christmas, and was named by Spanish sailors in 1520 who shipwrecked on the island on Christmas day. There are about 4000 residents, up from 1500 ten years ago. Tourism has changed the island, for good and bad. Most houses have electricity and hot water, there's a pharmacy, and a growing economy bringing lots of resources and money to this little island. Also Denver Nuggets jerseys.

For comparison, Malapascua is about one quarter the size of Boracay, in both land and population. But it's about one tenth as touristy. There are no roads, only sandy paths. The only motorized vehicles are dirt bikes. Bars and restaurants are cheap, as is lodging. It's a very chill place, one where drinks actually get cheaper the more rum you add. I'm actually surprised this hasn't caught on throughout the Philippines, where rum is cheaper than coke.

The major reason for Malapascua remaining untouristy, relative to Boracay, is the airport. Boracay has no airport on the island, but there are two airports nearby. One of them is right at the port, meaning you can reach Boracay withing one hour of your flight landing. The other airport is further inland, about 3 hours from the port. Compare this with Malapascua, which only has one airport, 4 hours away. If they were to open a second airport on Cebu's northern coast, it will bloom into the next Boracay overnight.

That 4 hour bus ride is part of what makes the place so special. People stay a week or two. They become a part of the island for a little while, respect its inhabitants, learn the names of locals around you, feel at home. It's beautiful, and worth the trip. But it's also not for everyone. The scuba diving is fantastic, and remains the only place in the world to see Thresher sharks. However, there is little or no nightlife, because that Thresher shark dive is at 5am everyday. My first night there, i was out until about 1am with some people i met at the dive shop. Every other night, i was in bed by 10 or 11, which was fine by me. Diving can be exhausting.

I stayed at Mike and Diose's Beach Cottage. I was so impressed by their service and hospitality, i decided to make my first review on trip advisor. We sat up one night drinking beers and eating BBQ on the beach while he told me stories about growing up in West Berlin during bombing raids. I think he liked me because my name is German, and also the mustache thing. Mike's mustache bested mine, but i made a good run at the title.

I spent 6 nights on Malapascua, and with my five full days there, i did eight dives with two rest days. I also did my 50th dive overall, which is still not much, but enough to reinvigorate my love of scuba diving. Diving might be best explained with pictures, so here are some of the weird, cool, or interesting things i saw this trip.

Pygmy Seahorse. That's a finger behind the little guy. He's tiny.

Frogfish, with her eggs. The white in the upper left is the lure on top of her head, mouth open just below that, eggs visible in the middle right.

Banded Coral Shrimp on left (or top), Commensal Shrimp on right (or bottom).

Giant Hermit Crab, closeup.

Spider Crap, or Decorator Crab. I found this guy on a night dive, just one piece of seaweed that didn't look quite like the rest. I watched it for a while and it seemed to react to my flashlight. Such and awesome and weird find!

Bob-tailed squid. Only about half and inch long, check him out against the grains of sand he's burrowing into. So cool.

Devil Scorpionfish, x2 on a starfish during a night dive. In the second pic, a closeup of another one.

Nudibranch, about 2.5 inches long. Really cool to watch because he was always on the move. Hung out with him for a good 5 minutes.

Fingered Dragonet

Seahorse!

Porcelain Crab in anemone.

And of course, Thresher Sharks. I didn't get any good photos of them, but my Norwegian diving buddy, Bjarte Håkonsen, definitely did. He had an impressive camera rig which made my cute G9 seem a bit inadequate. But it was awesome seeing his shots after each dive. I may have just gotten myself into a very expensive hobby though...

One of our day trips was to Kalanggaman, a barely inhabited island gorgeous sand and nothing in the way of inhabitants.

On our way back, our boat was visited by a pod of seven dolphins.

One of the divemasters at Evolution took a video, definitely worth a look.

When i wasn't diving, i was rereading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius in a hammock with a beer, or wandering the village in the middle of the island. If esther were there, i'd say it was a perfect vacation, but very relaxing nonetheless.

~Kev

Philippines 2011 - Part 3 - Manila Spirits

2011-12-08T14:55:00.001+08:00

Esther and i flew to Manila from Legazpi on thanksgiving. BloomFat searched out potential options for a t-day dinner. Turns out the Hilton was offering a special dinner buffet and seven of us who had arrived early met up to celebrate my favorite holiday.

We showed up a little early and i met BG in the casino. With only about 30 minutes before dinner, i sat down at the no-limit hold-em table (25/50 peso blind). I bought 2000 pesos in chips, about $50. I wouldn't be able to see too many hands, so my goal was to find a good spot to get all my money in. That opportunity would come in the tenth hand.

I was dealt pocket kings, the second best possible starting hand. I raise to 350, four players call, the fifth re-raises to 800. I push all-in, four players fold, and the re-raiser calls with pocket 7's. I'm an 80% favorite to win the hand. I'm covering him in one suit with my kings, so his outs are: four spades, a third 7, or four cards for a straight. I've played the hard perfectly, giving myself a great chance to triple up. He hits his fifth spade on the turn. It's disgusting, but it's better to be lucky than good. I get up and go to dinner.

... which was great, but a far cry from a real thanksgiving. They had excellent indian food, fresh sushi, pizza, hamburgers, rib eye, italian, mexican, and... a turkey, gravy, and some mashed potatoes. Thanksgiving dinner a turkey does not make. Where is my cranberry sauce, the kind with the baked ocean spray cranberries? Where's my stuffing? My green bean casserole? The dessert was pretty epic though, complete with a chocolate waterfall/fountain, and, like, all the pies. Ever.

Tournament Recap

We played three days of ultimate, as Friday was a one day single gender tournament. On the Men's side, our Beijng/Shanghai/Lincoln team lost in the finals against Philippines' own Boracay Dragons, on the final point, 17-16. We played a great game too, but we were plagued by injuries and strained muscles from the intense heat. We lost 3 or 4 key players about halfway through the game, and our lead turned into a deficit. We fought to keep it close and even had possession on the final point, we just couldn't finish it.

On the Women's side, China won everything against the Bebots, also from the Philippines, with a dominating final score of15-9, i believe.

For the co-ed tournament on saturday and sunday, Big Brother played great... up until the last points. We lost two key games against strong filipino teams, Boracay and Sunken Pleasure, both games lost on the final point again. I think the final score of both games was 10-9, or 11-10... something like that. Heartbreakers, both of them. As a result, we finished 7th overall out of 32 teams, which is quite good, but we could have easily been top 3. If those two games go differently, we become a contender for the finals. One problem is that most of our team played friday also, and when sunday becomes your third straight day playing under the brutal Manila sun, you have to dig deep to find the strength to push hard. We just didn't have anything left.

We did kick ass at the saturday party, as always. The theme was "Back To School" and Big Brother went as chinese schoolgirls. Nina gets credit for the original idea. Esther and I found the costume on Taobao for $10 each. I worked the logistics of pulling everything together. Esther worked with the factory directly to sort out the sizes and request custom XXXL's for the big dudes on our team. Gareth and Nina carried all the costumes over.

The result was fantastic.

I also played one song with the band, their cover of Sublime's Santeria. It must have sounded decent, or at least been memorable, because a bunch of people recognized me on the fields sunday. Good times.

What a mustache.

~Kev

Philippines 2011 - Part 2 - Donsol

2011-12-04T16:10:00.001+08:00

Here's a map of Southeastern Luzon, so you can follow along in our travels. I don't think they teach this geography in school yet.

We arrived at Legazpi by bus and checked into a hotel located inside the Embarcadero. For those of you familiar with Chicago, think Navy Pier... restaurants, shops, arcades... all in a waterfront mall. We did not know this is what the Embarcadero was when we booked the room, but we were nonetheless amused when we checked in. There's no excuse for me though, embarcadero means "pier" in Spanish.

Legazpi is the capital of the Albay province with roughly 200,000 inhabitants, called Legazpeños. The city's tourist attractions include, and are limited to, the Mayon Volcano. It's a cool volcano though, a perfect cone. And it's still active, very much so. It recently erupted in 2009, 2008, and 2006. Its tip was shrouded in a clouds the whole time we were there, like whipped cream melting over a sundae. Apparently it has a permanent wisp of smoke coming from the tip on clear days.

We spent a couple hours walking around an area, some area, talking to locals, looking at stuff, etc.

The railroad appears to be out of order at the moment, as it is cluttered with chickens, children, and abandoned cars.

We only stayed one night at the Embarcadero, so esther and i left BloomFat behind and headed to Donsol, The Whale Shark Capital of the World. Whale sharks are not whales, they are massive filter-feeding fish, and are the largest animal in the world outside of the whale family. There are daily sightings off the coast of Donsol and visitors can go on guided snorkling trips to swim with them, but only during the peak season of November to June. Unfortunately, we were a little early and they hadn't yet come in from the open ocean to feed on the coming plankton bloom.

We checked into Giddy's Dive Resort located in the town proper, rather than beachfront. I called ahead and asked one place how the beach was... "Well ma'am sir, here in Donsol we have da black sand, sooo, i tink maybe the beach is not so nice." ...

Being low season, there were only a few guests in the resort and they upgraded us to a deluxe suite. The food was pretty good, the service excellent, the pool clean... highly recommended!

There isn't much to do in Donsol aside from seeing the whale sharks, but both the town and the village are nice to walk through. People are incredibly friendly and curious, which i've grown accustomed to when traveling off the beaten path. Walking in the village, we find wood and grass huts raised on stilts, chickens, dogs, and cats running free, hand pumps for water, clothes drying outside, carefully swept pathways cleared of all debris, all in a tropical jungle environment.

We say hello to an old lady, her underbite prominent, as she goes for water. We stop to peer into a small yard and house, its dirt grounds immaculate. The lady walks back and says this is her house. We are surprised, unsure if we should apologize, but she invites us in. Her english is quite good. She is 78 years old, born and raised in this little town.

She lives here, a widow, with her son of about 30. Their house contains few posessions. There is no bed, and the living room doubles as the dining room, and triples as their shared bedroom. They sleep on the floor on simple bedding which is folded neatly in the corner. They have a TV, and I wonder if it works. The walls are bare, save for two photographs: one of her son, one if her husband. She says the picture of her husband is older than she is.

We pause outside for a photograph and, apologizing for interrupting her lunch, i give her my loose change of 20 pesos, about $0.50. She is surprised, but thankful.

Back in town, we wander the public market, which is mostly meats, fish, fruits and veggies. Children follow us and make faces or play hide-n-seek, alternately shy and curious. There are a few souvenir shops selling all manner of whale shark memorabilia. The whole town thrives on these animals, called Butanding in the local tongue. Murals adorn city walls, and there is a festival where people dress up like the butanding and sing butanding-related songs.

The local police department waves to us, and comes over to welcome us to the town. I ask a few standard questions people ask of the police, like, do you have much crime here?

Him: No we don't have much crime here. This is a baseball town. (pronounced "beesebol")

Me: Oh, i see. This is a baseball town?

Him: Yes, a very baseball town.

Me: Hmmm. So people play a lot of sports to stay out of trouble?

Him: *looks confused*

Esther: Kevin, he said peaceful, it's a PEACEful town.

Me: *nervous giggle*... Yes, that makes more sense. Can we go onto the roof of your police station?

Him: Of course! It's a nice view from up there! Very very baseball.

We ascend to the roof so i can take an important picture of Gangster Esther. Gangsther?

The next day we spent our time lounging at the pool, reading, and relaxing before heading back to Manila for the tournament.

~Kev

Philippines 2011 - Part 1 - Caramoan

2011-11-29T11:07:00.001+08:00

For my annual trip to the Philippines surrounding the Manila Spirits tournament, Esther and I joined up with Leigh and Baby Girl for a trip to the untouristed Caramoan, in the Bicol peninsula of southeast Luzon. We went a week prior to Spirits and after two flights, we arrived in Naga. A van picked us up at the airport and took us 90 minutes to the port, where we boarded a public boat for a 3 hour boat ride to Caramoan.

We stayed at West Pen Villas, where for 5000 pesos each (about $115) we got round-trip airport transfers, three nights accommodation, three days of food, and two days of guided island hopping. On the first night, we wandered the town center (read: one street, three blocks) and entertained the locals. Baby Girl and i bought some 1-Litro Red Horse beers (extra strong! 6.9%) at the corner store and joined some loitering locals. We played chess against 10-year-old challengers and won, impressing the amassing throng. Esther and i had some incredible fried chicken from a street vendor. Everywhere we went:

Them: Hello Ma'am Sir! What are you doing in the Philippines? (aside: it's always "Ma'am Sir", even if you are just one dude. to avoid offending potential lady-boys?)
Us: We are traveling before an Ultimate Frisbee Tournament.
Them: Oooooh. What is Ultimate Frisbee?
Us: It is a team sport like rugby, but with a frisbee. Do you know who Derek Ramsey is?
Them: Of course!!
Us: We are good friends with him. We play Ultimate Frisbee together.
Them: Well then you, by association, are also awesome and possibly famous!
Us: Yes, this is true.

There is not much to do in the town itself and the local beaches aren't fantastic, but the islands are unpopulated and beautiful. With our two full days there, we visited 6 islands, and made them our temporary paradises.

Day 1. Matukad, Lahus, and Sabitang Laya

Matukad was heralded as having the best beach of all the islands. In my opinion, while not true, it was a nice place to start, since it was probably the least interesting of all six that we visited. Recent storms littered the beach with more debris than expected, and it was already occupied when we made landfall. Moffleigh (aka BloomFat {Bloomberg+Moffat}) went for a swim in the cove, while Kevsther played frisbee on the beach.

Lahus was a real gem. I stole this picture from the Gota Resorts website, because, well, it's better than mine. Probably because they had a helicopter.

There are two coves on opposite sides of the island, connected by the same beach. We had a delicious lunch there... chicken curry, king prawns, stir-fried veggies, bananas, san miguel light... and we all did our own version of enjoying the island.

BG - climbs the jagged rocks barefoot.
Leigh - sunbaths and reads on her Kindle.
Esther - swims in the double coves.
Kev - chills in his hammock.

Later we all reunited and joined forces to build the tiny sand kingdom of Wah. Large in its dreams, righteous in its execution, short in its life, Wah had a prosperous time of growth -- centuries for its inhabitants, 20 minutes for its constructors -- in which it saw the completion of a protective moat, complex drainage system, exterior walls, guard towers, resident dwellings, and some kind of treasure. The creators and residents rejoiced, certain their loving toils would be rewarded with several eternities of peace. But when the armies of evil waves began crashing down upon the outer walls, it was clear their time was limited. Also, i think leigh dropped a large rock on the treasure, so we shoved off to the third island...

Sabitang Laya was the largest we visited, with nice sand, an expansive beach, and cool rock-outcroppings. There were several other groups there already, so we decided to walk down the long beach. We found a second beach, a perfect stretch of sand, unspoilt such that when you walk in it, your foot breaks through the top layer and sinks calf-deep into soft cool below. We all delighted in this for a while -- hey, you've gotta try this, step here, hahaha, isn't that crazy!? --- and while BG went on another shoeless adventure, us three played frisbee on the gorgeous, private beach.

Day 2. Malawi Sandbar, Cotivas(?), and Someplace?

Our first stop wasn't an island, but a sandbar. And as it was high tide, the shallowest area was waist deep. There are several floating huts you can relax in to take cover from the oppressive sun and there are ladies walking around, offering sea shells for sale. They need to be offering cold beers, and they missed a golden opportunity. Of course, we played frisbee, laying out with every opportunity.

Note: yes, i am manicuring a glorious mustache in support of Movember.

Our second stop offered the clearest shallow water we had seen. BG and I played chess in the shade with our guide, Eric. He beat the crap out of us.

The last island saw use of the hammock again, this time Kevsther reclining together. Also, there was a puppy, which leigh named Toast. I'm not sure why, maybe because gosh you're such a cute puppy i just want to eat you?

Leaving Caramoan, we backtracked, first the boat ride, then the van, then an AC bus heading to Legazpi, where BloomFat and Kevsther would eventually part ways, for a whole, like, three days.

~Kev

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T12:30:00.001+08:00

This year for Halloween, i went out with Baby Girl, Leigh, Ginny, and Alex. They dressed as characters from Peter Pan: Alex as Captain Hook, Ginny as Peter Pan, Leigh as Tiger Lilly, and Baby Girl as Tick Tock the Crocodile. I was Borat. I didn't get the memo.

Our destination that night (Saturday the 29th) was the subway party. Basically, it was a massive gathering of foreigners and locals in costume, partying on subway line 2. You meet at Dongzhimen station, get on a train with a bunch of other costumed party-goers, and ride all 18 stops of Line 2. This takes about 45 minutes, during which people share beers and bottles throughout the various cars.

Arriving back at Dongzhimen, everyone got off and partied on the subway platform for another hour and a half. Ginny and Alex staged multiple sword fights, and occasionally Baby Girl would come along and attack Alex. Everyone loved it, and they were instant celebrities. Locals lined up to have their picture taken with them.

I walked around insulting people in-character as Borat. If you don't know who Borat is, you're probably my parents and i'm not going to explain.

There must have been 300 people there, and we completely baffled the subway staff. Although clearly overwhelmed, they were pretty good humored. I saw them chatting up crazy dressed foreigners and seemed content to let us continue being crazy until the subway closed at 11pm. Eventually, the police arrived and politely corralled us out of the station.

We ended up at Sanlitun where more mayhem ensued, but it was just your garden-variety, late-night, bar-hopping shenanigans. But in costume.

In other Halloween news, i think it's funny how traffic to my website spikes when the holiday approaches. See the most common search keywords below.

~Kev

The Beijing Zoo

2011-10-27T09:32:00.000+08:00

Over the fall holiday, esther and i went to the Beijing Zoo and Aquarium. I generally like zoo's and being an avid diver, my love for aquariums has grown over the years. Chicago has the Shedd Aquariums, one of the top in the world. Meanwhile, my dad has been volunteering at Brookfield Zoo in Chicago for, i dunno, 12 years? 15 years? A long time. I've been so many times i couldn't even fathom a count.

People are divided on the ethical dilemma of zoos, capturing animals from the wild, caging them, and putting them on display. I too am conflicted, but there are some positives of course. There are injured animals who simply would not survive in the wild. There are endangered species being bred and released. There are obvious benefits to educating kids (and adults) about the beauty in the world, and that that the world is worth taking care of.

Clearly, animals in zoos need to be properly cared for, allowed to interact with each other if they are social, protected from being traumatized by the park visitors. Unfortunately, i fear that the Beijing Zoo misses the mark.

I apologize for the upcoming rant, but i need to get this out. I don't know what it is about the Chinese. Sometimes i feel like they just lack common sense or empathy or the ability to act with decent judgement. I know that's harsh and a massive generalization, but the people going to the Beijing Zoo didn't do the rest of the population any favors. A few of the atrocities i saw:

Parents allowing their kids to feed zebras leaves, sticks and candy, directly in front of " No Feeding" signs. This is actually really dangerous and stupid. I'm sure a wild zebra would have no problem taking off a child's hand with that candy bar.
Children climbing on an aquarium exhibit and posing for their parents to take a picture... directly in front of "No Photos No Climbing" signs. (yeah, i technically broke the rules with my photo, but i didn't use flash and was standing way back from the exhibit.)
A few grown women pounding with their fists on the glass of a Gorilla exhibit. The Gorilla in question had his face pressed against the glass already but was unphased. I assume this means it was already numb to this behavior by now.
People throwing food or garbage into the monkey cages, despite the clearly placed "No Feeding" signs. In their defense, there weren't any "No Littering" signs.

If my dad witnessed this at Brookfield Zoo, he would immediately reprimand the person or contact the authorities and have them thrown out, depending on the severity. However, i never saw any guards or zookeepers looking out for the animals' well-being. At the zebra exhibit, i stood next to one of the signs and asked a parent to "help me read this, because my Chinese isn't so good." She was much more interested in my ability to speak Chinese than what the sign said.

Humph. That poor gorilla. Ok, rant complete.

The Zoo actually had a pretty good assortment of animals. The monkey areas are an obvious delight, what with their climbing, antics, and general peoplefulness. Other highlights were the elephants, tigers, and giant pandas.

The aquarium's best exhibit was probably the jellyfish. Freakin' awesome stuff, and they allowed pictures. They also had a massive coral life tank with all the awesome fish i'm used to diving with, which was neat, but nothing compared to actual diving. The jellyfish win.

In conclusion, c'mon people! Quit acting like spoiled children and grow up!

~Kev

Late Fall Wall Camping

2011-10-18T09:06:00.001+08:00

During the China's national holiday, the first week of October, esther came to Beijing to visit. It's a great time to be in Beijiing, because so many people leave. True, people travel all over the place during the holiday, but many more leave the city than come to it. This is because there are vastly more people who have moved here to work that return home for the holidays, than people who come for vacation. The result is, in general less people.

Plus, Beijing always seeds the clouds to make it rain a few days before the holiday, which clears away the pollution for a week or so.

One day, about ten of us went up to Jiankou, the part of the wall i go for camping. The weather was typical of late fall, with cool afternoons and potentially cold evenings. Only esther and i decided to brave actual camping, while the rest stayed at a small inn at the village below. For us, camping turned out to be a magnificent choice.

It was the first time i went camping that we had the tower to ourselves. After hiking around, we built a 3-hour fire, made Annie's Mac and Cheese, drank wine, had hot cocoa with rum, and enjoyed absolute peace and infinite stars. It was not nearly as cold as i anticipated. We didn't use any of the extra blankets or sleeping bags we brought, and i don't think i ever wore all the clothes i had.

We woke up for the sunrise, enjoyed oatmeal and english tea for breakfast, and listened to the early morning sounds of the wall.

We hiked a bit more and made our way over to the sky stairs before heading back down to the village to meet the others.

On our way back to Beijing, we stopped to play CS, which is very popular up there. CS stands for Counter Strike, basically outdoor laser tag. You get a vest and helmet with light sensors on it and a laser gun. Your vest tells you when you've been hit by vibrating violently for a few seconds, and it tells you when you've hit someone else by vibrating pleasantly for a second. The whole thing is fairly realistic. We played outdoors in a valley with natural cover like trees and bushes, as well as bailed hay and barracks. The valley had hills and cliffs on two sides, and offered a great spot to sniper the enemy as they entered the game. One team enters first and sets up a position. Two minutes later, the enemy enters the field and advances.

I remember diving out of the way, rolling, jumping around unfamiliar terrain, sprinting up the side of a mountain, providing cover fire for my advancing comrades, and feeling the rush of adrenaline when i got hit. Yeah, we got into it.

We ended the trip at a spa, boasting a few dozen different hot tubs. Each one had a special name, like Green Tea, Red Wine, Lavender, and Mint. If you thought about it hard enough, you could maybe smell the fragrance indicated, but the water was certainly dyed to be the color of it. That was weird. Also weird, the pool with fish that eat the dead skin off your feet.

~Kev

September Sabbatical

2011-10-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

The month of September was both amazing and largely uneventful. My September needs no photos to describe it and offers few insights into Chinese life (except for meeting Esther's parents). I didn't do much out of the ordinary. Conversely, i did ordinary things, everyday. Many of my days went like this:

Wake up at the reasonable hour of 8:30.
Have a simple breakfast or cereal or smoothie, plus coffee.
Go to the gym.
Have lunch.
Work for a few hours in the afternoon from a nice coffee shop or comfortable restaurant.
Meet some friends to toss a frisbee in the afternoon, lay in my hammock in the park, or enjoy a beer with a book.
Have dinner.
Do nighttime stuff.

September is unquestionably the nicest month in Beijing, due to the mild weather and more frequent rainfall, resulting in plentiful "blue sky days". I decided to take the entire month off work as a 1-month sabbatical. As a side project, i spent many days working on US/Grant's Quality Manual, and was able to make wonderful progress on it.

I also spent the second week in Hangzhou visiting esther. We both technically had some work, so we didn't do all the touristy things Hangzhou has to offer. But that was fine, we spent time entertaining each other. We played pool, walked or biked the city, played frisbee, ate good food, and smiled a lot. We went jogging in the morning by the canal. I met a few of her friends and had dinner at her parents house. I even taught her dad how to throw a frisbee.

Meeting the esther-rents was surprisingly easy. They speak not a word of English, but are very nice people, although pretty shy. They seemed to regard me with careful interest: careful to not seem too interested, but interested enough to not ignore me completely. I later learned this was a conscious decision. They were friendly, but treated me as though i were just another person.

Here's a picture of esther from long ago. Awww!

Their house in Xiaoshan, which is technically part of Hangzhou, but it's not near the city center. It's is also home to the nearest airport, the same one that closed for two hours in July 2010 because of aliens. See this and also this over here. So, yeah. Their house is a massive 4 and a half floor detached dwelling, with 5 bathrooms, 12 bedrooms, a finished basement, and an unfinished top floor. Her parents live there alone. Apparently, this is just what people do. All the neighbors have similar houses that could comfortably accommodate four individual families, while only actually using 30%. They could probably rent the top two floors out to, like, two whole families of aliens.

One day in Hangzhou, Esther and i attended the weekly frisbee game and a film crew came out to record everyone. A TV station from Hong Kong is endeavouring to produce a travel show chronicling each province in China. Their plan is to sell it worldwide (possibly to BBC or Nat Geo) and they were in Hangzhou working on Zhejiang province. They somehow found out about the Ultimate Frisbee scene and came to check it out. After the game, they bought us beer and interviewed four of us in a local bar. The producer was pretty pleased with what she got, and we'll probably have a five minute slot in the episode, whenever it comes out.

Esther and i also went to the tea fields one day and walked around. That was the extent of our tourism. It was a completely wonderful trip.

Back in Beijing, my days were normal, relaxing, and very productive. I never lost my motivation and i always seemed to get things done. I probably would have blogged some, but i was without computer for three weeks.

One day, i got to play tour guide for the Sales Manager of US/Grant and his friend, who were both visiting. Taking advantage of the perfect weather, i took Wayne and Yulia to Jingshan park, Hou Hai, Nanlouguxiang (and Great Leap Brewery), and finally Sanlitun SOHO. We walked, took cabs, and even took a bus. We got lost in hutongs, we drank delicious beer, and we ate scorpions. It was a perfect day with good friends. I rarely do these kind of semi-touristy things on my own, so it was nice to have a reason.

And today is October 1st, the first day of the fall holiday, so i get another week off. But i also get esther. She'll be here for 9 days.

I could get used to this.

~Kev

P.S. It's been a while since i've seen a more terribly dressed person than this (note the flesh-colored panty-hose socks):

... or a dog as cluelessly happy as this one.

The Rents Report

2011-09-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

Our Beijing Adventures 2011
A guest post by Kevin's 'rents

After returning from our 2 week trip with Kevin to Southern & Western China (previously documented by Kevin), we had another 12 days to tour Beijing on our own. So with tour book in hand, and directions from Kevin, we ventured out by taxi, bus, and subway.

We found Beijing to be a beautiful and fascinating city. Bus 107 took us to the Drum Tower, where we then took a taxi to Prince Gong’s Residence. We spent 2 hours wandering the garden paths which wound around a reflecting pool and through dozens of “rockeries” and decorated walkways.

The next day, we took bus 24 to a small park where we found an 8 piece band playing and lots of people singing along. We watched from the back of the crowd until the conductor spotted the 2 foreigners and came straight for us. He brought us in front of the crowd for everyone to see. We stood there with him, clapping and dancing and slowly turning so everybody could see us. Then the band started playing Jingle Bells to a polka beat. We figured – Why Not? So we did the polka in front of about 400 cheering Chinese fans. Afterwards, nearly everyone came up to shake our hands or smile at us. Our brief embarrassment quickly disappeared due to their genuine hospitality.

Another day we took Bus 107 again to the Bell and Drum Towers. Traffic that day was awful and there were hundreds of police and soldiers everywhere in that area. But nobody could tell us why. We soon discovered that the Drum Tower was closed for the day, but we were able to tour and climb the adjacent Bell Tower – lots of steps, by the way. The bell was used to tell the time of day. It was erected in 1272 is 23 feet tall and weighs 63 tons. It’s a Big Bell!

As we exited the Bell Tower, we saw even more police and soldiers, plus maybe 40 or so vehicles... all parked very carefully where cars are not normally allowed. We finally found a U.S. Army officer who whispered to us that Joe Biden was touring the Drum Tower and would be leaving soon. That’s when we noticed all the Secret Service guys with sunglasses and the Big Black Chevy Suburbans with diplomatic plates. Traffic was stopped in all directions except for busses. We were both very tired, so we opted for beating the crowd and hopped on Bus 107 (our favorite!) and headed back to Kevin’s. It was fascinating to see hundreds of Chinese watching with great respect and interest, hoping to get a glimpse or photo of an important U.S. leader.

Another adventure occurred much closer to home... inside Kevin’s apartment actually. The sink drain in his bathroom sprouted a leak, so the apartment owner sent over a repairman. Not only did he fix the leak, but he showed Kevin how to turn on the a/c (simply switch it to “summer” instead of “winter”). WOW! What a difference! We had sweated thru 6 days of 90° days and 80° nights – and suddenly we had cool air for the next 10!

On our last day we took the subway (line 5) to the Temple of Heaven, a huge park with buildings dating back to the Ming Dynasty around 1420 AD. We arrived at 7:50 AM and spent several hours roaming the spacious tree-lined walkways and courtyards. Even at that early hour, there were thousands of people doing all sorts of exercise routines on a variety of equipment. We saw a dozen groups doing various dance routines to music. Other activities included small groups playing a form of Hackey Sack with a large badmitten shuttlecock, men playing with a gyroscopic top spinning on a string, and men playing cards or Chinese chess. There were men hanging bird cages in the trees, bands playing, and people singing. We saw people painting, playing Chinese violins, and flying kites. It was a delight to behold. Anyone heading to Beijing should definitely include an Early Morning visit to this magnificent park.

Random Observations:

Money: Chinese money is RMB (People’s Currency, commonly called yuan or kuai.). You really get your money’s worth! A bus trip costs 1 kuai ($.15) and the Subway is 2 kuai ($.30).
A taxi costs 10-20 kuai ($1.50-$3) and the custom is no tipping.
The largest bill is 100 kuai, and sometimes the driver can’t break a 100 RMB bill ($15).

Children: They are instant icebreakers. Parents want their children to say “Hello” & wave & are proud of them when they do this. We focused on the kids because we think it’s important to give a positive & friendly impression of Americans. They wanted photos taken with us, and were often surprised when we also asked for a photo with them.

Traffic: While walking on the sidewalk, if you hear a horn you assume it’s from the street, but it could be a motorcycle... behind you on the sidewalk! We quickly learned to look in ALL directions.

Benches: There are few chairs or benches in the Malls & Parks. People often carry their own small stools on bikes (& even a folding table to play cards), or they will sit on a concrete wall, or even seem comfortable squatting.

Stools: We’d seen stools chained to trees along the sidewalk. Finally, one morning we saw women walking around with red or green arm bands, with some of them sitting in these chairs. Maybe it’s like a neighborhood watch?

Restaurants: Many leave the dirty dishes outside in blue plastic cartons to be picked up by a service which will wash/sterilize them & then bring them back, each place setting sealed in plastic. Restaurants charge you 1 RMB extra for these dishes wrapped in plastic.

Food: At a breakfast buffet in Dali, some of the dishes were labeled “Fried Oil Powder”, “Red Pepper White Food”, and “Fried Rice Lines.” All of these were good. (Food Translations: Flour & Oil gravy base, Red peppers & cauliflower, Rice Noodles).

Bus to Dali: Kevin described the bus in his Dali post. Another bus parked next to ours, & the driver got a hose & attached it under his bus. We were told that’s to cool off the engine, because they don’t use coolant in the radiators.

Boats: While on the island of the Bai people in Kevin’s post about Dali, we discovered they made boats, constructed mainly of Styrofoam packing peanuts and discarded pants. Very creative!

Washers & dryers: Most apartments do not have dryers, but the washers spin the clothes almost dry. At Kevin’s, there is a sun room off the bedroom with drying racks, where everything dries amazingly quickly.

Wheel protectors: This apparently confuses the dogs!

This visit was quite different from our trip two years ago, and it was also somewhat spontaneous. China is a fascinating country. We also enjoyed seeing Kevin's friends again. We thank all of them for their help and hospitality. We have many good memories.

~The Rents

... And last but not least, the final installment of beardmageddon, day 27:

~Kev

Dali

2011-08-24T09:21:00.015+08:00

The final stop on our tour was Dali, the small backpacker-friendly city on the road from Lijiang to Kunming. Let us recap the journey with a few maps to put it all in perspective. As always, click on them for a larger version.

For the 6 hour journey to Dali, we took an ordinary bus for about $10 each. It was packed full with un-assigned seats, chain smoking passengers, and boasted no A/C. And apparently, there aren't any other options. You flag down a bus heading to your destination, hope there are seats available, and pay the driver. Luckily, there were exactly four people getting off when we got on. Here's our van taking a break, with mom reading in the back seat.

Dali is flanked by mountains on all sides and shares the valley with an ear-shaped lake. It is called Ear Lake. Activities in the area include hiking, boating, biking, strolling the old town, and visiting the small villages along the lake, home to the Bai minority.

Dali's old town itself, while not so striking, was really pleasant to walk around in. It's loaded with cafes restaurants, shops, and friendly people. We passed the time enjoying the weather and playing games. My parents had their first positive experience with Indian food (you're welcome Mike and Joan!).

Lijiang and Dali both have an unusual fascination with hand drums, djembes, in particular. I've been playing them for years and even had a band in college, KJ and the Pit Mac Attack, with my friend Will Norris. We played at Starbucks sometimes. We were pretty great.

Anyway! The drummers in these towns were surprisingly amateur. I made a game out of walking into the shop where five people were pounding out non-beats together. I'd pick up a drum, stare at it quizzically for a moment, then start playing awkwardly for about ten seconds. Then, i'd slowly build it into a crushing wall of awesome sound, ripping through grooves and solos at breakneck speed, bending the drum to my will. Dozens of people would gather to watch my 60 second jam, and i could sense video cameras pointed at me and the flashes of photography. Then, as humbly as possible, i would place the drum down, stand up, and walk out. A few times i received applause.

One time i was goaded by esther and the rents into joining a guitarist on the street who was trying to earn money for Tibet. I sat in on maybe five songs, and again, gathered a huge crowd. I wasn't sure if it was because i was a foreigner, or because i was apparently one of the few competent hand percussionists around, but i always seemed to get a crowd.

With our one full day there, we decided on a morning boat tour of the lake. It was pretty touristy and underwhelming, but nice enough. Most notable was a stop at a market loaded with local Bai people hawking goods. They basically just followed us around and tried to sell us stuff. I used the opportunity to take photos of them.

I also had a fun discussion with a friendly old guy. We talked about politics. He said USA loves war, and that is bad. I replied, our government loves war, but i think the majority of United Statesians do not. I agree war is bad. I glanced at esther, who was amused by the conversation, to see if my point made sense. She nodded in approval. Then the old man took my sunglasses and studied them intently. Later, he gave them back.

On our last night, esther and i went to an Open Mic at Bad Monkey Bar. I played about five songs on drum kit with many different musicians, and was generally impressed by the talent there. Esther took a few videos, here's the best one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm7rlaPleMM

Esther, as always, looking wonderful.

And lastly, by popular demand, let us check in with beardapalooza, day 16:

It's fuzzy! (...the photo and the faces.)

~Kev

Tiger Leaping Gorge

2011-08-20T15:42:00.003+08:00

Our next stop on our Yunnanese tour was Tiger Leaping Gorge. We hired a private car to drive us 60 km and three hours north from Lijiang. There's no real town here, but there are a dozen or so guesthouses along the road. The real attraction is nature. You are halfway up a valley with steep, gnarly mountains on each side. At the bottom is a raging river, the Yangtze, which at this point is called the Golden Sands River. Legend says that, while fleeing from a hunter, the tiger jumped across the river three times at it's narrowest points (still 25m wide), which also happen to be where the rapids are most powerful.

We stayed at Sean's Guesthouse, which boasted a stunning location, clean rooms and excellent food. Esther liked the noodles.

The typical route for backpackers is to hike 22km from one end of the gorge to the other, stopping at various guesthouses along the way. The rents would not be able to hike this area, but we were able to go early morning horseback (and muleback) riding for a 3 hour trek up the mountain.

Our guides walked our horses the whole way, except for esther's guide, who frequently left her all alone. This was brought to our attention when we heard esther, often the last in the pack, shouting, "Hello? I'm all alone back here!".

My horse.

Three random horses grazing on the trail.

We really only had one full day and were determined to make the most of it. We learned the best hike 3 hours down to Middle Tiger Leaping Rapids, the most powerful rapids in the area and also the least developed. Esther and i hired a guide and we set off after lunch. The hike down was easy and beautiful, though in some places, you can't help but wonder how many people slipped and fell to the roaring rapids 150 feet below. Probably none, what with the twig-fences and rickety little bridges and all.

Sometimes the journey is more exciting than the destination. Other times, the destination is a rock jutting out into intense Class 5 rapids, with a huge wall of water dropping 10 feet from you, deafening deep percussion, and, like 4 other tourists.

Best. Scenic. Vista. EVER!

~Kev

Lijiang Part 2

2011-08-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

If we rewind the story briefly and revisit Thursday, we'll find a bit i left out from part 1. The bit in question is a rather quick exchange of text messages between esther and i, discussing how awesome Lijiang was, and how she should just ask her boss for the next 7 days off work to join us. She replied with something like, "I have a meeting with my boss this afternoon, I'll ask him."

Esther, i learned from our thunderstorm experience in Hangzhou, is someone to be taken seriously.

Later that day, she bought a plane ticket. She flew 3 hours to Kunming on Friday, took the 10 hour sleeper bus to Lijiang, and caught up to us about 40 hours after making the decision... and 15 of those hours were spent traveling by one medium or another. Esther wins the award for Most Spontaneous.

While sleeping late was not one of them, meeting esther at the gate to Lijiang's old city at 6am had its benefits, most notably, another chance to tour the city before the tourists arrive. Esther and i made a lap of the whole city in about 2 hours, snapping hundreds of pictures in the process.

For the first two nights in Lijiang, i had been sleeping on the couch in my parents room at the Lijiang International Youth Hostel. It was a nice room, private terrace, western bathroom, second floor with a decent view. It was one of the nicer rooms they had, and it suited three people fine, as long as one of them didn't mind the couch. But the whole time, i longed to check out their "Mountain View" suite, on the third floor. In our minds, it loomed above our terrace like a mansion eclipsing the villa next door.

It was only about $10 more, but it was also booked every night. When i learned esther was definitely coming, i inquired again about the room. While it was still occupied at the time, i learned the tenants had shortened their stay and were leaving Saturday, and therefore available for one night... the only night i would need it.

The stars aligned and with luck on my side, esther and i moved into the penthouse suite for her one night in Lijiang. It was beautiful, with an outdoor patio, a tea room, one of those futuristic shower capsules, and an amazing bed. First picture below is the view down to the rents' place, whose terrace doubled as a drying rack for the hostel.

Lijiang by day is a wonder, but it turns into a fairyland at night. Lanterns fill the alley's, gates and towers are illuminated, the city is afire with life. And tourists, of course.

We enjoyed a relaxing dinner next to a river, and tried to stealthily observe the passing mob. However, being the gloriously attractive and interesting foreigners that we are, we inevitably became the focus of tourist cameras. Also: i made a cat friend, fed him chicken, and named him Little Yellow Tiger.

One tradition in Lijiang is to float these flower-shaped candle rafts down the river along with your wish. I bought a pair for esther and mom, so they could wish for each other's wishes to come true. Both wishes came true infinite times.

Another tradition is to sit in your amazing penthouse suite and gaze upon the city below.

~Kev

Lijiang Part 1

2011-08-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

Our flight arrived in Kunming around 4pm on Weds, August 3rd, and we promptly learned all the trains to Lijiang (pronounced "lee jee-ahng") were sold out for the week. Using adventure and magic, I was able to secure us three beds on an overnight sleeper bus to Lijiang. These buses are pretty impressive: three rows of bunk beds, sleeping about 40 people per bus. There's barely enough room to stretch out your legs completely and no room to move around, but it's comfortable enough for one night. Papa Reitz might say it's almost comfortable enough for one night. Once was enough for him, but we all managed to get a full night of sleep anyway.

We arrived in Lijiang at 5:45 am on Thursday the 4th. I dropped the rents off at the 24hr KFC and left in search of a hotel. I found one relatively quickly and returned to escort them down the deserted cobblestone streets.

Lijiang, a UNESCO Hertitage Site, is a beautiful city. Breathtaking, one might say. It is utterly fantastic at every corner. Clean, meandering alleys, countless rivers, rich with history and local culture, packed with shops and restaurants, Lijiang embodies the beauty of China's ancient cities. It is blessed, like most of Yunnan, with mild weather year-round. However, it is also plagued with tourists. At 9 am, the tour buses roll in and the streets, calm only an hour before, become overwhelmed, and remain that way past midnight.

But at 7am, after moving into our hotel, we had a wonderful opportunity to explore the city's many streams, bridges, and markets before the mob arrived.

We wandered off the normal tourist path and found Lijiang's open-air market, where the locals go to buy food and goods for their own use. Here we spent an hour or so watching and interacting with the Naxi ethnic group (one of 56 officially recognized by China), native to this area.

These first four pictures below are: on the left, a picture of me, and on the right, the picture i was taking. Thanks mom for the two on the left!

Some sweet old Naxi ladies. Also: Mangos.

We found the Naxi written language fascinating. The tourist literature i read said it was last culture in the world to still use a pictographic language, and although i haven't been able to confirm that, it's still cool. Below is an advertisement for restaurant, can you match the Naxi on the top to the English on the bottom? (hint: JianShui is a city in Yunnan, whose name means something like Constructed by Water.)

As i said before, Yunnan is blessed with wonderful weather most of the year, but August is the rainy season. This was the forecast for every day:

We were lucky enough to only encounter two days of rain, the first was in Hangzhou, which isn't even in Yunnan, and the second was in Lijiang. We were already out walking around Black Dragon Pool when the rain came, but we had umbrellas and it was a calm, gentle rain. We just kept on walking. Some of the Chinese tourists braved it like us and enjoyed the small crowds, others sought shelter.

And a quick check on Dad... day nine of the beardpocalypse:

That takes us through two days of Lijiang. Next up... Lijiang Part 2: Lijiang by Night and The Return of Esther.

~Kev

Hangzhou

2011-08-13T22:18:00.003+08:00

Last time i rapped at ya, i was preparing for the arrival of my parents. They did so safely and after a few days of relaxing and acclimation, we took the high speed train to Hangzhou for three days with esther.

The train itself was a nice and interesting experience. For about $100 each, we traveled 1000 miles in about 5 1/2 hours, with a maximum speed of 215 mph, and an average speed maybe 175 mph. It's amazing for a few reasons. 1) You can't feel the speed at all. It's smooth and frictionless. You can barely even feel the acceleration. 2) It's really comfortable and has nice bathrooms. Seats recline further than in an airplane and there's much more legroom. 3) It's so convenient. You just get to the station 10 minutes before it leaves. Security is fast and easy, and there are no restrictions on baggage.

Esther picked us up at the train station in her company car, which is basically just her car. It's a pretty good deal having a local tour guide/driver/awesome girl to show you around.

Hangzhou's main attraction is the famous West Lake. It's big enough where you could walk the whole thing in a day if you really wanted to. It's packed with beautiful gardens, peaceful tree-lined paths, birds, animals, stone bridges that reach across small estuaries, and historic sights like pagodas, temples and turtle-packed ponds. We spent many a comfortable afternoon walking and enjoying.

Our hotel was located right at the lake, so we checked in and went for a walk on the lake the first evening. It had rained hard earlier that day, and although the forecast called for rain everyday (of every city on our two week journey) we actually only encountered rain twice the whole trip. This evening was one of those two times, and we had forgotten our umbrellas. We were strolling, marveling at the beautiful views, enjoying the calm breeze, and snapping pictures.

We were blissfully unaware that the looming premature darkness foretold another major thunderstorm. I mean, we could see it coming, but looking around at all the locals, unconcerned and equally un-umbrella'd, we figured they knew what they were doing. Turns out they did know, and when it started pouring, they produced umbrellas by using magic. We sought cover at the entrance of a nearby temple with the 20-some other umbrella-less unfortunate.

Out of boredom, or possibly elation, esther suggested we go out into the rain and play. To her surprise, i accepted her invitation. Moments later we were standing on the threshold, pockets emptied of valuables, hand in hand, waiting for the other to back down. Neither did, and we ran out into the torrential downpour, soaking us within moments. The damage done, we walked all the way out to the lake, sloshing through inches of accumulated water. We danced, we kissed, we stared off into the lightning filled darkness, with the falling rain creating our sensory-deprived solitude. Mom snapped a sweet picture with my camera.

Esther took us to a number of sights throughout our three days. We hiked 310 steps to the base of the 9th century Baochu Pagoda, passing bamboo groves and rock outcroppings along the way. The destination itself wasn't so spectacular, but the journey was nice, and the Rents became pretty popular with the local kids at the top.

We also explored Leifeng Pagoda, one of the most striking sights on the West Lake. This one actually has an elevator, so unlike Baochu, you can ascend to the top for views of all Hangzhou. At the top, i practiced my nature photography on thousands of dragonflies.

Otherwise, we spent our time wandering around and joking. It was a really easy and fun visit. We ate well too. We went to Grandma's Kitchen twice for dinner and had probably the best chicken ever. We learned how to eat lotus seeds. It's also worth noting at this point that, while in Beijing, i challenged Dad to a beard-off, and he accepted. For the first time in his life, he is unshaven of his own willpower. Updates on that alone should be enough to keep you checking back!

Six days:

After three wonderful days, we left Hangzhou and esther for Kunming, our gateway to exploring the mountainous western province of Yunnan for the next 10 days.

~Kev

The Rents Return!

2011-07-27T11:30:00.005+08:00

Two years ago, my parents and brother Ray came to visit. Today, my parents come back for another round. They will be here for almost a full month, by the end of which they will be fluent not only in Chinese, but in line-cutting and spitting. The weather recently has been an uncomfortable 90F, although the weather report informs me that it feels like 110F. No fret! We will turn our backs to The Jing and head south in search of milder climes.

First stop will be three days in Hangzhou, where we will visit the famous West Lake, and Esther, who was born and raised in Hongzhou. We met this year in Shanghai at the Prom. We kept in touch and she even came up to Beijing to visit. Twice. In those visits, we took many walks, circumvented hou hai, toured hutongs, hammocked in the park, attended live Loveseat concerts (my new band, more on that later), ate good food, and i also got sick at Happy Valley, the amusement park. We waited for an hour to get on one awesome roller coaster, and it was truly awesome. Then we went on a second ride, one of those pirate ship things that swing upside down like a pendulum. My day ended with some projectile vomiting, only a half-second after i got out of the cab in front of my apartment. Somehow i made it the whole 45 minute cabride before losing it. People probably thought i was just really drunk on bai jiu.

Anyway, so, Esther. She's pretty awesome, and her English is great. She's learning Spanish too, so when we talk, it's often a weird mix of English, Chinese, and Spanish. Chinglanish? A few photos...

After Hangzhou, the rents and i are flying to Kunming, then travelling to Li Jiang, Dali, and Tiger Leaping Gorge. We toyed with the idea of Tibet/Lhasa, but you need guides and travel permits and special tourism tickets and a tour package and it's, like, a billion feet high... i decided to keep it simple this time.

Wish us all good travels. You'll read more about these adventures in a few weeks.

~Kev

Street Eats

2011-07-21T10:37:00.018+08:00

I've been a fan of street food in beijing since nearly my first week here, and i can't believe i haven't documented it until now. What started with the ever-present ji ān bing (煎饼), a crepe-like sandwich with egg, sauce and a crunchy deep fried piece of bread (?), has blossomed into a righteous love-affair with beijing street eats. In the last two months, I've been fortunate to have a great selection open up just around the corner from my work. Here are my three favorite from that pod.

The first two are photos of my favorite couple from Shānxī province. We chat several mornings a week when he makes me breakfast. They still complement me on my Chinese.

Egg Stuffed Pancacke - 鸡蛋灌饼 - Jīdàn Guàn Bǐng

This one is my go-to snack, both in the morning for breakfast and late night in Sanlitun. For little more than $.25, you get a quick, delicious snack. They start by frying a thin pancake of dough in oil. Next, they tear a small hole into the pancake and add a scrambled egg. Fry that together and, like a tortilla, add spicy and sweet sauces and some lettuce. Adding grilled chicken or sausage for another 1 RMB makes it a complete meal. This thing is my hands-down favorite.

Total Price: 2-4 RMB ($.30 - $.60)
Convenience Factor: 5/5 - You can find this everywhere between 6-10am, and in bar areas from 7pm-4am. I have two near work that offer slightly different styles.
Overall: 4/5 - It's small enough to suit anyone's current appetite, and two of them is enough for dinner. They can be a little greasy (nothing compared to KFC or McDonalds), but they really hit the spot.

Meat Sandwich - 肉夹馍 - Ròu Jīa Mó

This guy is really special. It could be the world's oldest sandwich, dating back to 200BC (thanks wikipedia!). It's simple enough, but mention it to any pork-loving beijinger and they will either begin salivating or waxing poetic about their favorite ròu jīa mó vendors around town.

Basically, you start with pork chunks stewed for hours in spices. A few chunks of meat and fat are then chopped up with coriander and mild green chili, and anointed with some juice from the stew. Then the whole mix is stuffed into flatbread cooked fresh in an oven.

As a renowned picky meat-eater, I can't say enough good things about this tender, lean pork. The flavor is beautiful, bright, even haunting. You have one for breakfast... you think about it for hours. The taste lingers. You can't wait for breakfast the next day. You contemplate it for lunch and dinner as well.

Total Price: 3-4 RMB ($.45-$.60). But i've got my local guy at work trained to make mine without the fatty pork, and to toss a fried egg in there. My total price: 5 RMB ($.75) very well spent.
Convenience Factor: 2/5 - You have to search them out.
Overall: 5/5 - It's like high-fiving a million angels with each warm, juicy bite.

Fried Steamed Buns - 生煎包 - Shēng Jiān Bāo

I haven't seen these in beijing before, but i got hooked on them in Shanghai last year. Just recently, a vendor opened by my work. This couple is from Henan, down south.

These are basically pork bāo zi (包子), but fried to make the bottom crispy. Now, i've always been a dumpling guy, and enjoy them more than steamed buns. But these are freakin' awesome. The crispy bottom, the warm filling, the light and comfortable flavors... i don't know why beijing doesn't do this more. (fun game: look carefully below, can you find the dude drinking beer at 8:45am, with breakfast?)

Total Price: 2 for 1 RMB ($.15).
Convenience Factor: 1/5 (or 5/5, for me at work) - To my knowledge, there's only one in beijing, although specialty restaurants sell them too.
Overall: 3/5 - Nice change, very portable, least messy and easy to share.

~Kev

Portland

2011-07-15T12:27:00.014+08:00

My previous and only trip to Portland was in 1996, when i visited Will Norris' old stomping grounds our freshman year. All i remember about it was Burgerville. Fifteen years later, i can say, with certainty, Portland has more to offer. It's current home to juliandreid and joegusia, as well as excellent microbrews, food carts, warm and friendly people, and awesome bikeability. Actually, that basically sums up my week. And luckily, i arrived within the two month stretch of the great weather the PAC En Dub is known for. Had i arrived the previous week, i'd have caught the end of a several month long rainy season.

Anyway, the days kinda blurred together in a haze of excellent beer (something i truly miss living in Beijing), parks, frisbee, great food, laziness, and bike rides. So, i'll just start everything with "this one time" for ease of narrative.

This one time juliandreid and i went to a major league soccer game with some of their friends. It was the Portland Timbers vs. America. It seemed to me an unfair match up, what with Portland just being a city and all. But, as it turns out, America was actually a team from Mexico. Yeah, i don't understand either. The Timbers lost, but it was a valiant effort and a riotous game.

If reid looks a bit frazzled in that picture, it's because that's the way he looks. But also, he wrecked his bike on the way to the game. He took a nasty spill as he was crossing over the in-ground tracks for the public transportation streetcars, which are perfect size for bicycle tires. See this streetcar/biking memo, it's evidently a pretty big deal. One of their other

friends (Bigs, you'll meet him later) took a spill a few days later and ended up in the hospital with a severely broken hand.

Anyway, reid goes down and all his belongings scatter about. He's wearing his helmet, but he gets a jolt of adrenaline. He remembers very clearly thinking, "My God, Julia is waiting for me! I gotta go!" and takes off running down the street. He doesn't get very far before realizing his bike, bag, and random stuff are back at the accident. Then he walks back to his bike, and takes a 10 second nap on the curb. Oddly enough, we end up sitting next to this guy Omar at the game, who not only saw the accident but is the city engineer responsible for designing the streetcar tracks. He apologized to reid.

This one time, i went to breakfast by myself at Pine State Biscuits and got an egg, sausage, and cheese biscuit sandwich. It was delicious.

This one time, julia-and-not-reid (i'm reading The Sparrow) and me and their roommate Claire went to a concert at the Mount Tabor Amphitheater. We saw The Twangshifters. It was a perfect afternoon and we had a Whole Bowl (delicious!) for dinner. Later, we went to The Vern, which is their local dive bar, aptly named because T and A are burned out on the sign out front, so it no longer reads "Tavern".

This one time, i hung out with joegusia (my awesome geology friends from college!) all day. We went to the park and played with their little girl Aria, had lunch at Mira's Ladel (Bogusia's mom's polish food cart), and met with juliandreid for beers before the soccer game. Oh. I remember now. Also, Aria likes to lick playground equipment. Ewwwww!

This one time, juliandreid-and-also-kev had the most epic game of jenga. We basically just won the game. Didn't know it was possible. Notice reid's awesome Ya Show shirt? He high-fived a million angels in that shirt.

This one time Lucas, Colleen and i stopped for lemonade! Awesome!

This other time, on my last night, julia had to fly to china for a business trip, so it was just reid and i. First, he licked a dog and then we rode bikes downtown.

Then we met up with Bigs and Barbara (met her in kunming, like, three years ago!) at the Deschutes Brewery for a few excellent pints and probably the best pretzel ever. Why is Bigs licking the ground, you ask?

Then we enjoyed al fresco dining behind juliandreid's food cart... The Dump Truck! Joegusia also came out and i successfully blended awesome friendgroups. I'm like friendster except way awesomer.

Later that same night, reid and i went out, dressed in a bunny costume and a purple velour suit.

I'm serious guys.

~Kev

Potlatch

2011-07-09T06:34:00.017+08:00

Ohhh hey, did you all know i'm in the U. S. of 'Merica? That's why there's been no bwogging lately. Well, first, it was because there were three pretty intense (read: mostly awesome funtime) weeks in beijing that i'm not sure if i'm gonna bwog about, but then i whisked myself away to the PAC NW for 10 days. I found some pretty cheap flights to portland ($850 on Delta) and timed it to correspond with 4th of July and Potlatch, one of the largest co-ed ultimate tournaments in the world.... about 100 teams, 31 fields and 2500 players. Massive. Also, most people camp at the fields, so you have this fun community for three days, hanging out together all weekend.

I arrived friday morning, July 1st, and was met by Reid and Julia (aka juliandreid) at the airport. When i first arrived in Beijing, the ulti community was pretty awesome, but few gave me a warmer welcome than these two. I've been threatening to visit them in portland for years, and this was the best opportunity i would have for a while. I also have two close friends from college (joe and bogusia -- aka joegusia) living in portland, but they don't come in til later.

The three of us drove to Seattle for the tournament the day i arrived, and my jetlagged self had a pretty loopy, weird day. We crashed at the Titcomb family lakehouse, the original home to Five Ultimate. Five Ultimate is an apparel company started by the five ubiquitously cool Titcomb siblings: Zahlen, Xtehn, Vehro, Rohre, and Qxhna. Their house is amazing, and the hospitality of the rents, John and Linde, is legendary. They have a dozen or so beds, direct access to the lake, and a drumset+instruments in the living room. So cool.

The tournament itself was hilarious and wonderful. Our team from Portland, ULTIMATE WARRIOR, was average in skill but exemplary in fun. Our costumes were basically face paint, tight little neon shorts, and an optional shirt. We also had a portable wrestling ring in which we challenged our opponents to a title match. We played pretty well and ended up winning 5 of 8 games. Every game was close enough to be interesting and most of the teams had great spirit. These next eleven pictures are all from Warrior John King, our team photographer and all around great guy.

I didn't take many pictures this weekend, but i did do an alright job of capturing our pre-battle ceremonies and the mulleting of Warrior Paul.

Amazingly, jetlag didn't affect me beyond the day i arrived. By day two, Saturday, i was golden. One secret for overcoming jetlag was to play ultimate all day to keep my energy going. The other secret was my pink suit.

Each day after the games, i showered and changed into my pink suit and immediately felt energized. I think i've become a bit of an attention-lover since moving to Beijing, and the suit gave me plenty of it. Xtehn Titcomb hooked me up with the official Five Ultimate Pimp Hat to top off my look.

He also made me an official sun-giver for the weekend. I shall explain...

Five Ultimate made a game for everyone at the tournament to play throughout the weekend, called Ravens and Suns. The idea is, each team gets two pink Raven hats and three suns, yellow strips of silk about the length of a tie. Anyone wearing a Raven hat can approach anyone with a sunshine and request a challenge. If the Raven completes the challenge, they steal the suns. The team with the most suns at the end of the weekend wins a prize. The game took off immediately. Examples of challenges are: find 20 people to do a conga-line; start a dance party; shotgun 2 beers in one minute; give a 10 minute back massage; etc. As a sun giver, i had a pocketful of suns to give out. I gave out a bunch of challenges throughout the weekend, but here are my favorite three:

Two vs. Two co-ed clothing swap. Two teams, a guy and a girl from each team, compete to switch clothing (EBU: everything but underwear) as fast as possible. Fastest team wins the sun. I did that one twice.
You've lost that loving feeling. I made a team of about 8 people get up on tables at the party and sing this song to me. See the video.
You are my Sunshine. Sunday morning, we went for breakfast at a little diner in the small town of Redmond. I was still in my pink suit, because i slept in it every night. (Side note, Five Ultimate had a bunch of couches at the fields and one of them pulled out into a bed. I slept in it, on the fields, both sat and sun nights. It was amazing.) So, a Raven at the diner asked my for my sun, and i made him stand up, say very loudly "MAY I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE!" and then proceed to sing You Are My Sunshine to the entire restaurant. It almost brought tears to my eyes. It's not a long song, but halfway through the first verse, the waitstaff and local patrons were singing along, and we got a applause and infinite smiles.

After the tournament, i spent one more night, July 4th at the Titcomb lakehouse and watching fireworks from the backyard. A late afternoon dip in the lake followed by beers by a fire with new friends was a perfect way to finish off the weekend. The next morning, we drove back to Portland.

~Kev

How Beijing Owned Shanghai in 2011

2011-06-15T13:55:00.022+08:00

This past weekend was the Shanghai Open Ultimate Frisbee tournament. In past years, we've seen Beijing dominate the Saturday night party as Doozers and Monopoly. This year, after Hulk Hogan suffered a disappointing party award loss at Jeju, I was determined to take the party at Shanghai. But my goal was not just to win it, but smother the competition so convincingly, they would henceforth rename it "The Big Brother Party Award" for future years. The theme was Once Upon a Time. Other teams would come as Alice In Wonderland or Shrek... obvious fairy tale options. We would need to step it up to another level.

Our idea originally came from Doc, who wasn't able to make the tournament, but the execution and organization was to be my greatest achievement yet. Yes, even better than that time i landed a chuar in Tao's beer from across the room. Even better than Cleatus. This would be my Opus.

Preparations started four weeks in advance. Tao, Chad, Rob, and myself all got suits tailored. Ladies bought new dresses. Mike Shyu finished designing and making the amazing banners. Joe put together the Mixtape. Barbie taught us all the dance. And thirty Big Brother players got decked out in their finest attire. We even considered Limo's and a balloon arch.

I went to Shanghai a few days early to start some preparations. Staying with the always delightful Geoff Ng, and hanging out with Kathryn and Zoey, i began my work. I made invitations. I located a punchbowl. I bought flowers. I made a ballot box. I scouted the party venue to make sure the plan would work.

On the fields Saturday, we passed out invitations to select members of other teams, often in very extravagant fashion. Baby Girl sang to one lucky girl, backed by a chorus of Big Brother players.

Then, Saturday night, after a day of incredible play from Big Brother, a day where we went undefeated, outscoring opponents in four games 43-17, we brought the party to Shanghai.

After arriving at the venue and surveying Shanghai's feeble attempt at party-making, the first order of business was to make corsages and boutonnières with the fresh flowers i bought on the way.

Next,we set up the massive 4m x 1.5m banner at the dance floor, signaling the beginning of the party.

Thirdly, we prepared the photo booth, using a 2.5m x 1.5m banner of the invitation above. Tao was our photographer for the evening, documenting the party and photo booth all night. In fact, it should be noted that ALL the photos in this post are Tao's except one. People went nuts at the photo booth. Tao has hundreds of photos... here are seventeen of the best:

Then we put on our Ultimate Prom mixtape, spiked some punch, danced, and made merry. We led the whole dance floor in Barbie's choreographed dance routine.

Of course, we also needed to have a prom King and Queen, and we allowed anyone to vote for their favorite. We tallied the votes, and it appeared we had some clear winners. For the ladies, Ingrid, YJ, and Nina were the three finalists. I took the microphone and announced the queen: Ingrid!

Next: the guys. Again there was a clear winner, Baby Girl, with 16 votes, while Zahlen and I both tied with 5. But then, after some detective work, we learned Baby Girl had stuffed the ballot box! Scandalous! So when i announced the three finalists, i decided to give the mic to Joe for the final judgement. He declared a three-way-tie! The tie-breaker? DANCE OFF! The Judge? Prom Queen Ingrid! Spoiler alert: i win.

I'm not sure what's happening in that last picture, but i am sure it was a good idea at the time.

Presenting King and Queen of the 2011 Big Brother's The Ultimate Prom:

The next morning i woke up in a tent. On the fields. Still wearing my suit. I had used the jacket as a pillow. I was surprisingly well rested, and since i hadn't really drank the night before, i was full of energy. First order of business: coffee.

(This is also the only photo from my camera. Thanks to Tao for all the rest. I'll link to his blog when he posts it.)

Second: warm up my throws a little. These Gucci loafers had surprisingly excellent gription and support, for only $20.

Third: win the tournament.

We had three more games that day and won them all in fairly commanding fashion, beating Hong Kong, Korea (last years winner) and Team Pilipinas, who is always strong. The final score was 15-10, and our O line was never scored on, a perfect offensive performance. I actually teared up a bit in the group huddle after our win. awwww.

Tao was also named finals MVP, and Barbie was named mythical seven. Congrats to all!

...And that, kids, is how Beijing owned Shanghai in 2011.

~Kev

Cuandixia, Revisited

2011-05-18T09:30:00.002+08:00

On the Monday of May 1st holiday, i visited Cuandixia again. This time i went with Alicia, Tao, and YJ, who is new to this blog. YJ is a Singaporean, recently transplanted to Beijing, plays ultimate, and also has a car. She was thrilled to drive there, which was much nicer than our 3 hour journey last time. Everyone, this is YJ; Yj, Everyone.

Also, since Tao was on board and he's a journalist, he wrote a story about it for Beijing Today, and used my photos for the article. I love when Tao writes my posts for me.

Having already been there i was also able to steer the group to places i had not already been. It's a really tiny village, but there were still a few new things to check out. Like this here Guandi temple on the hill. Nothing remarkable, but a nice temple nonetheless.

And a playground. Look how happy Tao is! Weee!

And these here quaint sittin' chairs.

We also did a new hike this time. Instead of taking the long road up and behind the village, we hiked the mountain directly across from it. This offered panoramic views of the village itself, as well as opportunity for off-trail exploring. It was a shorter hike, but no less enjoyable than the other one.

Strolling down the main road, we just chatted and enjoyed the near perfect weather. Really, it's just nice to get out of Beijing, even just for half a day.

~Kev

Chinese Wedding

2011-05-12T14:56:00.010+08:00

On May 8th, 2011, Edward Wang and Sophia Song were wed in Chinese matrimony. More specifically, they had been wed several days earlier in a florescent lit, aging court house. But this time, it was outside and their friends were invited. I know Edward from frisbee. He is the longtime captain of Tianjin Speed, a local frisbee team we've played against (and partied with) many times.

A group of six made the pilgrimage to Tanggu, a place none of us had ever heard of, and rightfully so. An expat who had been living there for 4 years, upon being asked "What is there to do here?" replied, "Nothing. But now we have two bars and a recently got a McDonalds." That right there is the definition of western civilization in China.

Here's the story of our trip, told in several short bursts.

The Fast Train and Tao's Suit
I awoke at 5:45 am, but i suspect the others were up well before me. Groggy and unmotivated, i managed to cover my body with a suit, brush my hair, toss back a coffee and smoothie, and head out. I met the others at the Beijing south station, which is from where the high speed train departs. The trip from Beijing to Tanggu, a drive of approximately 3.5 hours by car, would take us a cool 50 minutes by train. The train arrived around 8:20, allowing plenty of time to see the Tanggu sights before the 10am wedding. Turns out there were none to see, and we visited the McDonald's twice (for coffee and a clean bathroom).

In the morning light, we could clearly differentiate the morning people. Joe and Baby Girl were dashing. Even without a suit jacket (he claims to have been misinformed by Jim), BG managed to look respectable. Barbie was a queen among princesses. Alicia turned even the grooms head. I needed a haircut badly and my suit was too big (off-the-rack at Kohl's), but i smelled nice and was chipper. And then there was Tao.

Tao wakes up no earlier than 11 am, ever, unless we're playing frisbee. He's not a morning person. On this momentous occasion, he rolled up in a suit which, from all outward appearances, appeared to have been wrestled away from his cats that very morning. Stained, wrinkled and covered with hair, it resembled what a migrant worker might wear to a wedding, if he were also sleeping in the gutter. But Tao's a writer, and writers couldn't care less about your fancy "dry cleaning", or your "ironing board", or your "habit of not letting your cats sleep and frolic within your nice clothing."

The Wedding
... was a little underwhelming. We expected a traditional Chinese wedding. What we got was a mostly a western wedding, with all the vows and speech translated into English as well. It was held outdoors, on the turf soccer field of an international school, and the minister was the principal. By the power vested in him by, let's say the janitor, he "was proud to introduce them" as husband and wife, at the end of a 15-minute long ceremony.

They did do a tea ceremony at the end, where the bride and groom present their parents with tea, and everyone is thrilled about it. Later, we took some pictures with our Tianjin friends.

The See Saw a.k.a. Teeter Totter a.k.a.
Kevin and Joe's Guide to Looking Awesome
With the short ceremony done and pictures taken, we had some time to kill. Joe and I made a bee-line for the playground and a quick photo shoot.

Lauren took a stroll while a groundskeeper leered on.

And Tao longed for someone to play with. He waited a very long time.

The Banquet and The Train Home
... were also uneventful. Lunch was served in the school cafeteria. We didn't have assigned seats for the train back, so we took control of the dining cart. We bought all the beer that had (all three cans) and relaxed. We were sleepy and restless, but we entertained ourselves through the power of friendship. Awwww.

~Kev

Jeju Dirty Dozens and Hulkamania

2011-04-27T13:08:00.015+08:00

Note: all pictures in this post were taken by someone else, usually tao, or at least with tao's camera and my memory card, which is why i have them.

Last weekend i attended the annual tournament hosted in Jeju, South Korea. I went in 2008 as well, when it was Gnarly Nines (meaning only nine players to a team). This year they changed it to Dirty Dozens. Tao, Alicia, Joel and I joined up with Lincoln's Hong Kong team. Check out my beautiful mustache... but i'll explain that later.

Despite having never played together as a team, we played exceptionally well. We finished in 5th place out of 16 teams, but we also only lost our games to the 3rd and 4th place teams by 1 point. In fact, the top 8 teams were all close in skill level and had great games. The eventual winner, Iku from Japan, narrowly won their games against the #8 (Shiok from Singapore) and the #4 (Kim Jong Illin' from Korea). The finals between Iku and Taiwan was close as well, with a final score of 15-13. All in all, it was an incredible weekend of ultimate. One which almost didn't happen.

On friday, our flight from Beijing to Shanghai was uneventful. We met up with all the Shanghai kids at the airport and boarded the flight. Ten minutes from landing in Jeju, as we begin our decent, the pilot abruptly pulls out of the landing maneuver and returns us to Shanghai. They said the cause was thick fog. However, there was no turbulence and no wind to make the landing particularly difficult. It was never explained to us why the pilot couldn't just use instruments to navigate the final decent. We suspect the pilot was either:

a) incompetent.

b) about to hit a mountain when he narrowly pulled us back up, avoiding certain catastrophe.

Either way, there were many on that flight who, in retrospect, believe the pilot somehow saved our lives that day, but we'll never know. Upon returning to Shanghai, we learned that many flights from Seoul were cancelled completely, but the direct flights from Hong Kong and Beijing both landed no problem. We ended up boarding the same plane about 90 minutes later and successfully landed on attempt #2. Everyone else eventually landed as well, and the tournament happened as scheduled.

As usual, the party was a highlight of the tournament. This years theme was "Mustache". Our team decided to go as Hulk Hogan. I used to watch a fair amount of WWF when i was a kid, but outgrew it around age 10. Paying tribute to an old hero of mine felt good. And i was only person on our team with an actual beard at the time, so i felt compelled to go all out for my costume. Here's what i was going for:

Here's what i became:

Which required bleaching of my mustache.

... and posing in my I Heart Beijing shirt with the whole team, who also went as vaguely Hulk Hogan themed wrestlers and wrestlerettes (?), plus lincoln, who was Nacho from Nacho Libre.

...and posing for the fans, of which there were many.

...and doing a beer bong, because let's face it, The Hulk would totally do that. (Kids, stay in school.)

...and, of course, wrestling. I totally defended my title against that guy.

Also, i managed to get an honorable mention for the award of "Best Natural Mustache", but was bested by this guy, my new arch-nemesis. You know what his costume was? "Guy sitting at a table with a hideous and creepy mustache."

Kevin <----- Not impressed!

Besides the obvious rigging of the "Best Natural Mustache" award and the lack of "Best Individual Costume" award, i'd say the whole tournament was an awesome success, and Jeju still has the best fields in Asia.

~Kev

2011 Tianjin Open

2011-04-21T12:10:00.001+08:00

My first Ultimate Frisbee tournament of the season was this past weekend, the annual Tianjin Open. Last year, the competition was pretty fierce and Big Brother lost to Tianjin Speed on day one, before winning the whole tournament (and party) on day two, beating Shanghai in the semi's and Tianjin Speed in the finals.

This year, Shanghai didn't make it, and Speed didn't seem as strong. Big Brother even split itself into two equal strength teams: Sexy and Ugly. Team Ugly won it's first three games on day one with a combined score of 33-2. Team Sexy (my team of course) won all three games as well, although by narrower margins. Sexy and Ugly played the fourth game against each other that day in the first real challenging game either team had all day. We traded points early, before Ugly took a break and the lead. They held it for most of the game until time cap went on at 5-4. Sexy, down by one in a game to 6, managed to pull out two straight breaks for the win, including the final score upwind.

The saturday night party was, by most accounts, a good time. The theme was Rainbow, which, given Dalian's tendency to pick themes like "Sunglasses", and "Hats", was not so bad. As it was, we were the only team to even attempt a costume, and we went as... wait for it... a rainbow.

Not our most creative moment, but it was Michael "Doc" Tobin's idea, so we didn't expect much.

Each person dressed up as one solid color from the rainbow, and we substituted Pink for Indigo, leaving us with ROYGBPV and sometimes white. Also, Tao was a prism.

I brought all my pink gear and outfitted Joe, Matt, and myself as a beautiful trio of pink awesomeness. Those familiar with my Ya Show obsession (and pink in general) can imagine how thrilled i am with the shirt i bought for the occasion. Yes, i bought that off the back of a female employee. I also have one in blue.

Day two was windy. All day. Right up until when the Final game (Ugly vs. Sexy again) was supposed to happen. Instead it was cancelled due to a massive sandstorm blowing in from Beijing. People bundled up or left completely, while Big Brother did our best to cope. This is when i discovered a new use for Five Ultimate jersey's. It turns out you can actually see through them well enough to catch and throw a disc. Amazing!

We did eventually play the finals when the storm blew over, but so many people had left, that we just practiced against each other in the wind. A good end to a decent tourney, where Big Brother one both the tournament and the party.

I'm off to Jeju tomorrow for my second tournament in two weeks. Hurrah!

~Kev

Dim Summary Statistics

2011-04-12T10:00:00.014+08:00

I've recently noticed a stats feature in Blogger. It's pretty cool, and being a closet nerd/scientist, i think statistics are interesting. Here are some things i learned. As always, you can click on the images for a larger view.

MOST VIEWED POSTS OF ALL TIME

This was quite a surprise. A few of those in the top ten are expected, namely, the Komodo Liveaboard, Cleatus and Trixie, and the Philippines stuff. But out of no where, we've got the Fraggle Rock/Doozers Costume post from the Shanghai 2009 Tournament taking a commanding first place finish over Five Boracay Sunsets.

PEOPLE OF THE INTERNETS: Why is that post so interesting? Oddly enough, if i sort by most popular post of the past month, it's still the Doozers, with Cleatus and my Five Year Plan finishing 2nd and 3rd. Curious! Why The Face!

AUDIENCE BY COUNTRY

This one isn't so surprising. Obviously USA will be #1, but i wasn't expecting it to be so lopsided. The other 9 countries listed combined make up about half of my USA readership. A shout out to my Filipino friends for edging out Germany for the #2 spot!

Actually, those numbers aren't completely true, as China's numbers are in reality much higher. My blog is blocked by the Great Firewall, as are Facebook, Youtube, and any other blog hosted by Blogspot. Therefore, they need to use a VPN (Virtual Private Network) to see it. VPN's create a fake location for you, so the government censorship system thinks your computer is located in the USA. Thus, you can view blocked sites, and Blogger records these visitors as coming from the USA.

The truth is, there hasn't been a visitor "from China" since before the Olympics.

TRAFFIC SOURCES

The last intriguing one is the source page information. This one tells me how people found my blog, whether they googled the words kevin reitz beijing, kevin's dim summary, or doozer costume, it tells me how people are arriving here.

It also tells me the actual URL people came from. Some of these were obvious, such as google, chinabloglist.com, and Tao's blogs found here and here. However, the #1 spot was a revelation.

Here is that first link, an unedited reprinting of my comparison between the Philippines and Indonesia, complete with my ~Kev tagline. They added some stock photos as well, because my original post was text only. After searching a while, it turns out this website probably doesn't produce any original material; they just steal whatever they can find on the internets.

Tao said i should demand money from them, but at least they linked to my blog, and i got a few dozen hits from there.

I decided instead to send some samples of my work to www.CNNgo.com and asked for a job as a freelance travel writer. Still no response from them, but hey, it never hurts to try.

~Kev

Five Year Plan

2011-04-07T09:45:00.003+08:00

My awesome friends Mike and Helen Shyu (Emma too) made a five year plan, like, six years ago. Then last year, they made another. I've never given much thought to my future. The future generally happens to me, and when it does, i adapt. The move to China certainly happened to me. Not more than 3 months before, i was plugging along, working at Trimble, living in Colorado, blissfully unaware that my life would soon drastically change.

But i finally see some opportunities to define my future and outline some goals. Thus, i present to the world, in the hopes that putting it out there will make it happen, my Five Year Plan.

Year One: 2011

Remain in Beijing for a fourth year, continue working for US/Grant 80% time.
Enjoy a few vacations to SE Asia to keep my wanderlust at bay.
Continue studying Chinese.

Year Two: 2012

Finish up my stay in Beijing for the foreseeable future. If i can extend my current lease 6 months, i'd stay through fall, making it 4 1/2 years total. I had originally planned on 2-3.

Year Three: 2013

Sabbatical. I'm fascinated by the Kiwi's, Aussie's, and (maybe less frequently) Europeans i meet who are on a year-long, post-college trek around the world. This is normal to them, and they are doing it right. They must feel sorry for all the United Statesians who settle for a measly month of backpacking Europe. And they must feel downright saddened for the millions who have never left the USA, and millions more if Cancun/Canada don't count. I intend to travel while i am young(-ish) and have the energy to do so.

Highlights/Rough itinerary-

3 months working my way from China, south through Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam. No planes allowed.
1 month in Thailand
2 months in Philippines

Instead of Thailand/Philippines, work my way west through Nepal and Tibet, into India.
3-4 months in Indonesia
3 weeks of divemaster training and 1+ month of working in a dive shop. Location probably Indonesia, maybe Komodo?

That plan is about 8 months, leaving me an ample 4 more to settle down in places i really like.

Year Four: 2014 (and, really, year Five too)

Who am I kidding? At this point, my future will have happened to me, again. I can't possibly plan that far ahead. But during my travels, i'll be thinking about my career, and where i want to be. Maybe i'll return to Beijing and resume work at US/G. Maybe i'll settle in Indonesia and work as a contractor for off-shore manufacturing quality control in SE Asia. Maybe i'll settle in a Spanish speaking country to relearn my second mother-tongue. Maybe i'll open a dive shop.

Of course, maybe i'll return to the States. But, right now, i feel those 29 years were probably long enough to say "USA? Check. I figured that one out, and it's pretty ok. Let's see what else is out there, shall we?"

~Kev

February and March: Good Riddance

2011-03-22T09:54:00.001+08:00

They say that February is the shortest month, but you know they could be wrong.

Compared, calender page against calender page, it looks to be the shortest month, all right. Spread between January and March, like lard on bread, it fails to reach the crust on either side. In its galoshes - and you'll never catch February in stocking feet - it's a full head shorter than December, although in leap years, when it has growth spurts, it comes up to April's nose.

However more abbreviated than its cousins it may look, February feels longer than any of them. It is the meanest moon of winter, all the more cruel because it will masquerade as spring, occasionally for hours at a time, only to rip off its mask with a sadistic laugh and spit icicles into every gullible face, behavior that grows qickly old.

February is pitiless, and it is boring. That parade of red numerals on its page add up to zero: birthdays of politicians, a holiday reserved for rodents, what kind of celebrations are those? The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine's Day. It was no accident that our ancestors pinned Valentine's day on February's shirt: he or she lucky enough to have a lover in frgid, antsy February has cause for celebration, indeed.

-Tom Robbins
Jitterbug Perfume

Re-reading Jitterbug Perfume, one of my top 5 desert island books (along with 100 Years and Life of Pi), was possibly the best part of February.

It was a rough month, even with the weeklong holiday of Chinese New Year and the unseasonably beautiful weather. February also brought several days of the worst pollution i've witnessed in Beijing, possibly due to the unfathomable volume of fireworks incinerated in the Beijing skies. We watched the fireworks from Steph and Ken's Apartment on the 15th floor of our building, which was mostly not noteworthy.

Work was full-on stressful for the end of January and into February. I was tense. I had begun searching for a new place to live, which is a yearly event now. I think Landlords and young Chinese professionals think the same way: both believe by changing tenants/jobs frequently, they can increase rent/salary each time. The result for me is either pay more each year, or move into less awesome apartments.

For all of March, I had my sights set on this amazing hutong courtyard with Chris and another friend... 250sqm, 7 bedrooms, rooftop access, perfect location... but we just couldn't negotiate an agreement. I ended up signing a new lease on a place in dongzhimen, nearish to my current place. I'll post pictures of that soon. Sadly, I think i'm destined to go through this process every year.

Anyway, i'm optimistic that everything will work out and this year will be as exciting as the last. I'm ready for the new year now.

~Kev

Failure of Pants

2011-03-01T11:06:00.003+08:00

February was rough, but I'll rant about that a little later. The good news is, March is starting off great, sprinting out of the gate with a quick pants-related win. So i bought these Kühl pants over Christmas and wore them twice. The third time i wore them was at dinner with friends in Beijing. From normal wear and tear of three wearings, they fell apart, at the ass. Let the jokes begin.

I wrote the following letter to Kühl on January 24th.

Hello,

I bought a pair of Kühl’s at the Boulder REI store on Dec 30^th, and wore them three times. Not sure what model they were, it says “Crag Series” on the inside. I never had an opportunity to wash them, because upon the third wearing, they literally fell apart at the butt. While at dinner, my girlfriend pointed out to me a small hole in the back. I figured i’d just have them fixed the next day. It hadn’t been caught on anything, and i wasn’t doing anything active that evening. By the end of the night, there were two massive holes. Never before have i seen such a catastrophic failure of PANTS. They seemed to be just disintegrating. The worst thing is, i really like them. I got all kinds of compliments about them, etc.

Anyway, this could be easily resolved if i were living in the states, but i reside in Beijing. Shipping these pants anywhere outside of China will easily cost $20, and the funny thing is it says they are Made in China. How do you suggest we handle this?

Etc. Etc.

So they totally hooked me up with a brand new pair, and they arrived today, March 1st. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

Keep this up, and we're gonna get along just fine, March.

~Kev

Photos from Merica

2011-02-20T09:52:00.001+08:00

This is pretty belated, but i've got a brief respite in my crazy life right now, so here it is.

I had three marvelous days with my family in Chicago over christmas. After flat out missing christmas in 2009 (i went home during february instead), it was great to see everyone together. My oldest nephew, Chris, is finally bigger than me, and my oldest niece at 15 has a boyfriend. They quite literally grew up while i've been away. Chris was even my designated driver to the bars one night. That kid will turn out just fine. My siblings were a hoot as well and i hadn't seen my brother Mike in two years. It was all pretty amazing.

Then therese and i met up for about 10 days in Colorado. We stayed in Larkin's awesome home with great friends surrounding us. Some highlights:

a great hike at Mt. Sanitas (see panorama at beginning of this post)
enjoyed a few dinners at Mountain Sun and discovered the new Yak and Yeti and their incredible chai milk stout
withstood a freak snowfall in Boulder
drank a bhakti chai everyday
saw the Motet at Cervantes on NYE
hung out with Mike Chaitkin and friends at Watercourse Foods, for a new years day brunch
spent a few nights at my sister's place in Evergreen
rented an awesome condo in Breckenridge for two days of snowboarding

Chirona flew out from the east coast to ride with us, Jordan drove up from Grand Junction, and my sister's family came as well. We were lucky to have fresh snow on our first day of riding, and that made the whole journey worthwhile.

Good times. It really made me miss Boulder and my family, but i know i'm not done with this adventure yet. There's a lot more i want to accomplish here and while it's not always easy, i know it's the right thing for me at this point in my life.

~Kev

New Year Resolution: Blog When I Want

2011-02-07T13:56:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i rapped at ya, i just took a month off blogging, and it was good. After 200 plus posts over two and a half years, i feel like i've told my story here in Beijing. Between frisbee, parties, Chinese life, cats, traveling, and other random stuff, i wonder if it gets repetitive. For me, the easiest to write about has been new travels. Writing about last years trips to Indonesia and Philippines never felt like a chore. It was always exciting and interesting, and telling stories though photos suits my style well.

So what about the daily life? As I approach year three, i've got a routine and much of it is redundant. I don't want this blog to get stale, but i also don't want to post boring dribble ala Dear blog, today i washed clothes and bought vegetables at the market. It was amazing!

This is much of why i decided to not post at all this past month. Not only did nothing seem blog-worthy, but i was burned out. I was traveling for 2 weeks anyway and work was a nightmare whence i returned. But i'm feeling a bit refreshed after Chinese New Year. I actually want to tell the story of my birthday plane flight to Beijing. I want to talk about the amazing ten days in Colorado. I want to go document the local vegetable market with my camera and interview the beggar guy outside of April Gourmet. I don't know if i will do any of that, but at least i'm excited about it. And that means i'll keep writing. I just don't want to feel compelled to blog once a week, or 5 times a month. I think they'll be less frequent, but hopefully more enjoyable for everyone.

Hope you enjoyed the rant.

Here are two pictures Steph took on Jan 7th, at 30,000 ft, on my birthday. Steph and Ken were sitting next to me on the return flight to Beijing, and helped me celebrate my birthday mid-flight. The flight attendants were amazingly nice as well, and gave me a piece of cheesecake (no candles though, even they aren't allowed matches), lots of free tiny booze bottles, and even a full bottle of nice champagne, unopened, which i took home.

Later that weekend, ten of us went to Capital M for a luxury brunch. Ellen and i took turns wearing the birthday glasses, as her birthday is was the 9th.

~Kev

Philippines vs. Indonesia: A Traveler's Companion

2010-12-21T12:00:00.000+08:00

This post was spurred by a conversation between Marc Hiller and myself (plus Alicia and his girlfriend Erica) over sunday brunch. He and Erica lived in Jakarta for many years and have travelled Indonesia extensively. They are both fluent in Bahasa Indonesia. I've spent three weeks in both the Philippines and Indonesia this year.

He posed a very simple question to me: Which did you prefer?

A simple question indeed. With a very complicated answer. Here's the fruit of that discussion, with a few other categories thrown in. Remember, everyone's experiences are different, these is just my impressions, coupled with the aforementioned discussion.

Getting There and Around

Philippines. No question. Tickets from Beijing to Manila start at $75 round trip. Domestic flights on Cebu Pacific were under $100. Meanwhile, we spent $600 just getting to Bali from Beijing, plus pricier domestic flights. Both countries have ever-changing ferry and boat schedules, so no edge to either there. Honorable mention to Indonesia for having mopeds available everywhere. Jeepney's and trikes are pretty awesome though...

Backpacker Friendly

Philippines. Unless you speak Bahasa, there is a limit to how far off the beaten path you can wander in Indonesia, although really, a seasoned traveller can go just about anywhere in the world. Meanwhile, the majority of Filipinos speak excellent English along with the native Tagalog, which has familiar hints of Spanish as well. Traveling the Philippines is also a remedy for the over-touristed Thailand/Laos/Vietnam circuit which is all too common these days. I've heard the Philippines of today compared to the Thailand of 40 years ago, before it became too popular. Go now and go often, before it's too late.

Value

Tossup. This is tough. Both countries offer exceptional value for accommodations on the beach, a bottle of beer, or a delicious meal. Get away from Bali or Boracay and you can easily stretch your money further than many other S.E. Asian options.

Food

Indonesia. With hints of Thai cooking mixed in, Indonesia offers banana pancakes for breakfast, fried noodles or gado-gado for lunch, and tempeh curry or fresh fish for dinner. The Philippines' only entry in this category is Adobo Chicken with Garlic Rice, which is absolutely delicious, but one dish is, i believe, the opposite of variety. Still neither country is a match for Thailand, or even China for that matter.

People

Philippines. Not really a fair fight, since Filipinos are arguably the world's more welcoming people (Subic notwithstanding). Most everywhere i went (again, see Subic), i encountered the friendliest people to date. This is not to say Indonesians are unwelcoming, but i bet knowing a bit if Bahasa would open up doors that would otherwise be closed.

Culture

Indonesia. If ancient temples, tribes untouched by Western hands, and diversity are your thing, you can hardly do better than Indonesia. And if these aren't your things, they just might be after an extended visit. With 17,000 islands and almost 600 languages, there's no shortage of variety.

Landscape

Indonesia. I was partial to the rocky landscapes, sky-piercing volcanoes, and beautiful architecture.

Beaches

Another Tossup. It's really hard to beat Boracay, given that it is the perfect beach. However, just for sheer volume of beaches to choose from, not to mention the beautiful ones we found, Indonesia is definitely a strong contender.

Diving

Indonesia. I'm not an expert by any means, and i've only logged about 50 dives, but there's a reason why Komodo, Sulawesi, Sumatra, and the Banda Islands consistently rank among the best diving in the world. Having enjoyed a liveaboard in Komodo, i certainly know why: it's nothing short of incredible. Now, i haven't yet done Tubbataha or Apo reef, but the ten or so dives i did were no match for Komodo. The Coron Wreck Diving of northern Palawan does not disappoint, however.

Souvenir Shopping

Indonesia. I want everything in my house to be Indonesian. Or Tibetan. Please. Indonesia just does handicrafts exceptionally well. I didn't see anything in the Philippines worth buying.

The Result?

Both countries are relatively cheap once you get there. Both have amazing beaches. Both have interesting people and cultures and have stunning landscapes.

For the traveller on a budget or with a short time frame, take the Philippines. It hasn't been overly touristed yet, they speak English, and it doesn't take much searching to find your own personal paradise. Cebu Pacific has dozens of flights from Manila to the furthest reaches of the country to meet anyone's needs. Plus, the cheap international flight options to Manila make the base investment cost low. I sound like a salesman.

However, if you are going for 3-6 months, are a seasoned traveller and want to take it slow and have an adventure, Indonesia is the place. Every island will have its own flavor and i hear you can pick up Bahasa in only a few weeks.

So to answer the original question, as long as flights are too cheap to ignore, i'll keep hitting the Philippines. But when i finally shove off for a multi-month excursion, you can bet i'll be spending a few months in Indonesia.

But really, i recommend doing both. Life is too short not to.

~Kev

Port Barton, Sabang, Clark and Subic

2010-12-17T11:58:00.000+08:00

I've already put this off long enough, so i will wrap up the last week of Philippines in one mega post.

PORT BARTON

We left El Nino with an early morning, 5 hour jeepney ride, bound for the lazy town of Port Barton, where we did absolutely nothing for two days. And it was great. Here's our jeepney.

Honestly, the best thing to do in Port Barton is nothing. We stayed at Summer Homes resort and had a nice bungalow in a beautiful garden setting right on the beach. It rained all of day one, so we slept, had a few meals and slept more. Day two, we set up our hammocks on the beach, swam a little, played frisbee, drank beers and tropical beverages, and relaxed. We also played with a huge Python. Port Barton: Done.

SABANG

We then took a boat to Sabang for one night as an alternative to Puerto Princesa. There are no ATM's in Palawan outside of Puerto Princesa and Coron and we had run out of cash, so we stayed at the 2nd nicest resort in town because they accept credit cards. It turned out to be a great deal because they included a wonderful breakfast and arranged transport to Puerto Princesa the next morning for a third of the normal price. Sabang turned out to have the nicest beach we'd seen and we spent our precious few hours splashing in the huge waves. If we knew before, we would have planned a few extra days there. Next time i suppose.

FRISBAY!

Leaving Palawan, we flew to Manila for the Manila Spirits Ultimate Frisbee Tournament, which was held two hours away in Clack. Clark is home to a former US Air Force base which was vacated in 1991. Interesting history, Clark still has ten's of thousands of prostitutes leftover from those days. It also has a fairly large population of Filipinos in their 20's who are half American. Go figure.

So, we played ultimate. Our men's team won the Open division on Friday and our mixed team won the B Pool championship on Sunday. Overall, it was a great three days of disc, with a few awesome parties mixed in. Highlights from the parties were: face painting, carnival games, awesome filipino friends, a live reggae band, and green man (spot him in the middle picture below).

SUBIC

We had one day off before our group flight to Beijing, so we decided to head to the beach town of Subic. Almost everything about that day was an adventure. It is a place i would never recommend to any tourist, and i can safely say i will never go back, but i'm glad i went. Our hotel turned out to be perfectly adequate, and cheap. But we soon found out why it was so cheap: we were not in a great part of town (if there even was one). Stepping outside the hotel, you are mobbed by "Parking Attendants" who wish to "help" you get taxi's or offer you "advice" about the town. If you let one of these people help you in anyway, they will demand forcefully that you owe them money. Some "helpful" things that required payment include: not leaving us alone as we walked to the nearest bank, standing next to me while i haggle the price for a jeepney, or my favorite, pointing me to the 7-11 as i'm standing in front of it preparing to go inside.

First, there weren't any taxi's to be had, so transportation was at the mercy of the jeepneys. With 15 people to shuttle around, we never would have arrived anywhere together. I took the initiative to secure a private jeepney ride to a beach that was recommended by the hotel. We piled in and off we went, Parking Attendant included. After getting lost and going too far, we eventually found not the right place and went inside. Parking Attendant tried to rip me off, but he was only able to get an extra $1 from me, which seemed like a small price to pay to get him off my back. The total price ended up being $8 for 15 people. Man- i can't get over how much i resemble my brother Mike in these pictures.

We headed down to the beach where it was already dark, and we met Frank. Frank was the caretaker of the beach, and he looked after us well. He informed us it would probably not be safe to go buy food and beer ourselves, as Subic has not yet acquired the manners and acceptance shown by the rest of the Philippines. He sent someone off to buy us a case of beer, gin, chicken, fish, veggies, and rice for consumption on the beach. Frank turned out to be a blessing, completely trustworthy and at the same time, shamed by the behavior of his local countrymen. He turned a potentially miserable adventure into a delight. Here's Frank with Baby Girl.

While waiting for the food, i made friends with a group of off-duty policemen and women who were getting (already?) drunk and singing karaoke in a private beach hut. They poured me shots of apple vodka and made me sing with them. I chose "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and got a score of 96 (according to the scoring system in the karaoke machine). My friends later joined me and, eventually, took over the karaoke machine. Below is our food hut on the left, and karaoke hut on the right.

Um, i think we all got drunk and went home eventually. A few of us went out for dinner and drinks later. I ordered what must have been the worst burger ever made. The meat(?) was inedible, but no sooner had i ejected it from the bun than Baby Girl popped the entire lump of meat(?) into his mouth, making (faking?) sounds of delight. He was never the same again.

Also the mayor of Subic is named Bong Gordon. Awesome. Still not going back.

And that basically wraps up our vacation. Headed back to Chicago and Colorado shortly for the holidays. It sure has been an exciting year.

~Kev

El Nido and the Bacuit Archipelago

2010-11-29T11:05:00.003+08:00

We left Coron and embarked on a 6 hour ferry ride through stunning seascapes to the fabled land of the Bacuit Archipelago and the northern Palawan paradise of El Nido. I was endeared by El Nido almost immediately; the friendly locals, the beachfront restaurants, the trendy backpacker cafes, the random disco clubs, not to mention the seemingly endless host of uninhabited islands with private beaches.

The main attraction of El Nido is, in fact, island hopping. There are so many islands worth visiting, you need four days to cover them all. There's big lagoon, small lagoon, twin lagoon and secret lagoon; there's sunset beach, seven commando beach, and secret beach. All promise fantastic snorkeling as well, and while Therese is a qualified snorkeler, i'm not built for it. I've suffered debilitating ear infections since i was a child, and pouring sea water into my ears is not my idea of awesome. Diving, on the other hand, rarely gives me the same problem. Equalizing the pressure underwater generally keeps water from entering your ears, resulting in a happy Kev.

We got lucky on our first night there. We were staying at Greenviews Resort, about 5 minutes outside of El Nido. Highly recommended. Great staff, bungalow's and very reasonable prices. Right outside the front gate is Plankton Divers, a brand new dive shop. We chatted with the owner a bit and she gave us a deal we couldn't refuse: private boat with two divemasters, three dives, brand new equipment, lunch and drinks, AND island hopping during our surface intervals, for about $60 per day. That's a steal folks. Our divemaster turned out to be an old Ultimate player in Manila too, we had a lot of the same friends. Look up Jeff Panelo if you need to do some El Nido Diving.

We did two days of diving, 6 dives total, and made it to many of the most interesting lagoons and beaches in the process. Imagine taking your surface interval between dives here:

Or here...

Yay.

And as is the custom now on this blog, i present for your consideration, "Scuba Diving in El Nido". Notable highlights include the awesome color-changing cuttlefish, the blue-spotted stingray, and the playful anemone fish. True fact: Therese has decided all anemone fish actually want to be petted, they just don't know how it works yet.

And a few stills... three nudibranchs and some awesome anemone fish.

Other than that, we mainly just relaxed in the town, ate good food, and randomly bumped into friends from Beijing. As if the world isn't already small enough, therese and i were hanging out in Small Lagoon, where there were only two other snorkelers at the time, and they happen to be marc and veronica from beijing's ultimate frisbee scene. The next day, we found jim and nina sitting at a restaurant having dinner in a remote beachfront restaurant. What are the odds?

Tragically, it wasn't all Nudibranches and Remote Beach Happy Fun Time. It was also Jellyfish Terror Hell Time. Poor therese got stung when we were playing frisbee in the shallow water in front of our resort. For the next two hours, her life would consist of agonizing pain. Imagine taking your lower lip and pulling it up over your head, and then being stung by some jellyfish. That's pretty much what it looked like. Some dude from the resort heard her and administered immediate first aid, which consisted of nescafe and hot water followed by vinegar. I'm not sure if it worked or not, because therese never really stopped weeping terror-filled pain-tears-of-agony, but maybe it would have been worse with it. Who knows? Hopefully we never have to find out.

The next day, i had the pleasure of sitting on a crown of thorns starfish that our dive master had taken from the dive and left on the stern (i'm so nautical) of our boat, with the purpose of killing it later. Wikipedia says:

The thorns are very sharp and are capable of piercing through standard wetsuits and other clothing. They are also venomous. The crown-of-thorns produces a neurotoxin which can be released through its spines. Not only are the wounds themselves serious, but the neurotoxin can cause a sharp stinging pain that can last for hours, as well as nausea and vomiting.

Painful, certainly, but also only a small fraction of the misery therese felt.

A few more random shots from our three days there, and that will wrap up El Nido in a nice little blogable package.

Spell check doesn't know what to do with "blogable" and i'm fine with that.

~Kev

p.s. Two more posts to go! Up next: Port Barton and Sabang. You know you can't wait! No more diving videos, i promise.

Barracuda Lake and Island Hopping

2010-11-23T17:03:00.009+08:00

Wreck diving was awesome. However, the most unique dive was at Barracuda Lake, which is called "The craziest dive site in the Philippines." It's located on Coron Island proper, whose only inhabitants are the indigenous Tagbanua people, one of the original inhabitants of the Philippines. The island is protected as sacred land, and only a few locations are even open to tourists. We were actually staying in Coron City, which is not on Coron Island, but on the main island of Busuanga.

So you enter this beautiful bay with jagged limestone cliffs all around, and you swim to a set of stairs, which are really just narrow, unstable 2x2 boards. You then do a fairly strenuous 10 minute hike through sharp limestone formations along a rugged set of "stairs". In full scuba gear. It's not an easy climb, but very worth it.

Barracuda Lake's top 4 meters are cool fresh water, with salt water below. The point where they meet is a thermocline, meaning thin layer where surface and deep water meet, usually with a sharp change in temperature. Passing through this one is like going from the swimming pool at 75F into the hot tub at 105F. It's almost too hot to bear, but fortunately you can keep going deeper and pass into the salt water layer where the temp drops to a more bearable 90F. Amazingly, you can actually see where these layers meet, as they don't mix very well. The layer where the fresh water meets the thermocline is like oil sitting on water, or the meniscus of water on a glass. The deeper layer where the salt water meets the thermocline is eerie and plays tricks with your mind. Sometimes you see ghosts, like wisps of clouds rolling away. Other times the mixing layers turns all the water blurry, so everything is out of focus.

As if the dive wasn't cool enough already, we ended up finding a bunch of little cleaner shrimp and baby catfish that will munch on the dead skin from your hand, if you let them. What a trip.

Video Time! I put together the random few that i took from this dive and added some still shots. Yay!

I ended up with an ear infection after day one, but that didn't stop me from jumping back in on day three. On our day off we did a relaxing island-hopping tour. The highlight, besides the amazing scenery, was Kayangan Lake. Also on the protected Coron Island, it is known as the cleanest lake in the Philippines. A must-see on any trip to Coron.

On the island hopping tour.

Kayangan Lake

Next up: El Nido and the Bacuit Archipelago

~Kev

Coron Wreck Diving

2010-11-21T23:11:00.001+08:00

Spotty internet coverage prevented me from posting much while traveling, but we've returned from another an incredible adventure. I'll do my best to recap it all as quickly and lovingly as i can.

From Puerto Princesa, we flew north about an hour to Coron, a well-known dive spot famous for its wrecks. On September 24th, 1944, US forces sunk a fleet of Japanese Ships during WWII. In total there's about 12 wrecks you can dive in the area.

We did two days of diving with Sea Dive and would highly recommend them to stay and dive with. We had one dive master that we didn't love, but that would be our only dive-related complaint. Their boat was awesome and hospitality at the resort was great with reasonable pricing all around. The food was good, but both Coron Bistro and Out Of Africa are nearby, offering truly great food. Oh, i definitely recommend 2nd or 3rd floor rooms, as the first floor was really noisy. Paper thin walls and a family with little kids next door made for a rough night.

We had 3 full days in Coron, did 5 total dives comprised of 4 different wrecks and the thermal Barracuda lake. I had never been wreck diving before, and these may have spoiled me a bit. It was incredible. The bay itself gets relatively little circulation and currents are low. This makes the diving a little easier and preserves the sunken ships as well, but it also means the water is filthy. All that matter decomposing over the last 70 years doesn't get swept away very often, and the water appears ripe with plankton and moss.

This trip, we were prepared for ample underwater adventures with a new camera/underwater housing combo, the Canon G9. I took dozens of videos on these dives, and rather than post link after link, i actually assembled them into one 8 minute video with some sweet music overdubbed for your viewing and listening pleasure. The four dives in this video are: Kyogo Maru, Tangat Maru, Irako, and Olympia Maru. I'm thinking Maru probably means Tanker, while Irako was a refrigeration ship. The schematics below show the sea floor orientation and rough outline.

Here we go!

And a few random pictures that didn't come out well in the video, or weren't caught at all. First, a cool turtle with some remora's tagging along for the ride.

Next, a few stills of the school of Jackfish we saw on the Irako dive. There were thousands and they let me swim along with them for a while.

Last, a few colorful scorpionfish. These guys are cool because they blend in with the surroundings and you feel awfully proud when you spot one.

Next up, possibly tomorrow: Barracuda Lake and some incredible island pics!

~Kev

Puerto Princesa Underground River

2010-11-17T09:37:00.006+08:00

It's not every trip, every year, or every lifetime that you get to see one of the wonders of the world. New Seven Wonders launched an online campaign a few years ago to update the list the 7 wonders of the world, both man made and natural. It's a very cool website, and the seven wonders are being decided by online voting open to anyone in the world. Vote now. The finalists for natural wonders (see complete list here) is down to 28 from about 160 choices. Until now, I've personally seen five of them: Komodo, Grand Canyon, Mt. Vesuvius, Jeju Island, and Cliffs of Moher. I can now add the Puerto Princesa Underground River to the list.

From Puerto Princesa (a fairly un-noteworthy town, also the administrative capital of Palawan), you drive about 90 minutes to the national park. Then you take a boat to the lagoon, followed by a short walk to this eerie site, surrounded by mangroves, chirping monkeys, and boats disappearing into, and emerging from, a hole in the mountain.

Eight people and one guide enter the river in a small paddle boat, armed with one flashlight. The lucky guest seated in the front has the honor. I wish i'd known!

Inside the cave, the guide goes on to explain there are some 6 different species of 50,000 bats living in the cave, various species of terribly venomous spiders, snakes, and other amphibians. Did i mention it's also very dark? As we pass a mountain of bat guano, he reminds us that when looking up, be sure to close your mouth. If you feel cool water dripping on you, don't worry; it's just purified water dripping from the mountain. It's the "warm water" you need to worry about. Because you've just been sprayed with bat urine. Possibly in your mouth.

Amazingly, these caves are inhabited. At the south end of the cave dwells an indigenous filipino tribe that regards the cave as sacred, and understandably so. Permits are required to enter and no motorized vehicles are allowed. It's terrifically quiet and peaceful, with the dripping water and the guides commentary occasionally breaking the spell. Photography was difficult and after a dozen or so failed attempts, i decided to just enjoy the ride. Our guide pointed out dozens of rock formations by name: Banana Tree, Giraffe, Head of Dinosaur, as well as christian scenes like the Nativity, the Virgin Mary, and Face of Jesus. Every one of these looked strikingly similar to their names, like someone had carved the stalactites with purpose.

Also amazingly, these caves only get about 10,000 foreign visitors a year, but that number has almost doubled since the announcement of it's potential Seven Wonders status. The caves steadily see over a 100,000 filipino visitors every year. This place is no secret to locals, but i'm glad we were allowed to share in this small piece of national pride.

~Kev

Hong Kong Tournament

2010-11-10T16:38:00.007+08:00

I'm way behind on this because i've had two crazy weeks of work and no time to post, but i'd be remiss to not post embarrassing pictures of our costume for the Hong Kong tournament. Big Brother went as My Little Ponies. Therese was Lickety Split and i was Fancy Pants, which i made up but whatever. Any excuse to dress up in a wig and pink clothes, am i right fellas? haha. heh.

We did not win the party which is ok with us. Our theme was thrown together literally 24 hours earlier, as many of us didn't know if the tournament would even happen. Remember hurricane Megi? All week long, she was forecasted to pummel Hong Kong proper with a terrifying display of 100+ mph winds and city-crippling floods. On Friday morning, the day of our flight, all the weather forecasters said Sorry, we were just joking! It's totally gonna hit Taiwan instead!

So yeah... My Little Ponies! It's also becoming an annual event to ride the Hong Kong subway dressed in ridiculous outfits. Nina, Jim, Tao, and Alicia also joined us for the annual event.

Mingling among the random subway-goers.

Special call-out to Tao. Tao either goes all out (see Optimus Prime in above link), or he just doesn't even try. Look at those sad little hooves he's wearing.

Also note-worthy was Matt Mueller, who dressed as the pony's enemy, Hurricane Megi! He took turns attacking various ponies throughout the night.

And then we danced! In a cage!

Since i haven't already mentioned it, and since it's also the title of this post, i should mention Big Brother took 2nd in the finals against United Colorum. The weekend in general was the best i've ever seen Big Brother play. We won all 6 games leading up to the finals, including beating United Colorum on day one, 7-5. We lost the finals 13-11, after leading at 7-6 in one of the most exciting games i've seen in a long time. It was a pleasure to be a part of it, and i was thrilled to have played well for the team.

Tomorrow, therese and i head to the Philippines for two weeks of relaxing and trying to forget about work for a while. After the chaotic and stressful few weeks i've just had, i'm really ready for it. Stay tuned for a post or two while traveling Palawan, and then again for Manila Spirits, one of the best tournaments in asia.

~Kev

Are we bad parents?

2010-10-28T15:55:00.005+08:00

Therese and i have been struggling with a dilemma recently. It was bad for a while, then got better maybe, and then it crushed our will to live for the past week. But today i feel great. Here's what happened.

This post isn't about Beijing life, per se. It's about cat ownership, which is also cool. We've got two cats, Muse and Maze. Most cat parents will tell you they go crazy at 4 am because, you know, they are crepuscular. (slight pause for those googling the definition.)

Therese and i are both light sleepers, her more so than me, but life is a drag when you aren't sleeping much. Parenthood, amiright? Maze is a total asshole at 4 in the morning, here is a list of the ways she sucks:

scratching on the door to come in/get out.
scratching on the dresser or bed when we leave the door open.
jumping on the furniture/knocking crap off.
batting that crap around the room.
mewing for no reason.
cleaning her nether regions inches from my face.

Muse has been mostly good as long as we've had her, but i think she's picking up bad habits now. So we've been running experiments on how to control or sway this behavior and have finally had some success.

BASELINE TEST - GIVE IN

We decided to try giving the cats free reign of the house, it sucks. Moving on.

EXPERIMENT ONE - SPRAY BOTTLE

A while back i tried keeping a water bottle by the bed, then when she scratched, i'd burst forth and drench her in a powerful stream of water. Sometimes i would even corner and soak her. Returning to bed, it would buy us approximately 5 minutes before she returned to scratch again.

RESULT: Failure, but kinda fun. Does that make me a bad parent?

EXPERIMENT TWO - LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM

While giving them full access to bedroom, we found we could get peaceful nappy time until about 4 am, at which time the freakshow begins. I purposely set my threshold extremely low. If i'm woken up one time, i lock her in the bathroom.

RESULT: Failure. Unfortunately, she doesn't like that and i feel guilty. Plus, we can still here her clawing at the door and mewing. If we close our bedroom door, then Muse wants to get in or out. I think this ultimately makes me a good parent.

EXPERIMENT THREE - TRAYS OF WATER

This clever idea came from Joe. Basically, Maze is the main problem, not Muse, so i wanted to devise a way to keep only Maze out. Fortunately, Maze is fat and lazy. I closed the door on a baking tray filled with water and blocked the door from behind so it couldn't open. That left just enough room for us to squeeze out the open door, but would require a cat to walk through water to get in. Muse figured it out and made the leap, but Maze could not.

RESULT: Hilarious Failure. Sometime in the night, Maze tried the jump and plunged into the water. I heard it, picked her up and discarded her from the room, thinking she would not try that again. She didn't, but she just scratched on the door all night instead.

EXPERIMENT FOUR - VACUUM CLEANER

Therese and i were actually at the very end of our ropes, but she found another idea online and we gave it a go last night. You close the door, leave a vacuum cleaner out side the door, but plug it in near your bed. When they scratch on the door, plug it in.

RESULT: AWESOME. Right on cue, the cat(s) started messing with the door. Therese wasted no time and set off the vacuum bomb at the door, followed by CHAOTIC SOUNDS OF FEAR AND SCRAMBLING. I think they tried one or two more times, each time with horrifying, vacuum-induced, terror-kitty results. We slept.

So i pose a question: If we use the one thing they are terrified of beyond comprehension to scare them into leaving us alone, are we bad parents? Probably, but at least we're well-rested.

~Kev

UPDATE: Night two of the Vacuum Test was a restful success. Began evening with several vacuum blasts before lights out. Cats appear respectful and wary of vacuum. Zero scratching all night. Night three data forthcoming.

What are the odds?

2010-10-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

It's no secret that Chinese apartment buildings are total crap. They are built for quick turnaround and short-sighted profit, using cheap supplies and, obviously, very cheap labor. The corporate apartment i lived in when i first arrived was high end, and the kitchen cabinets fell sending a microwave crashing to the floor. The plumbing also failed frequently and it was infested with cockroaches, but it all looked very nice. It was all smoke and mirrors.

We now live in Sun City, another very nice complex, relatively speaking. It's composed of four buildings, built in two phases, one year apart. Thus, buildings 1 and 2 are a year older than 3 and 4l. We looked at a dozen places in phase one and they were terrible; peeling wall paper, broken bathrooms, water damage everywhere, one didn't even have electricity. Building 3 and 4 were so much nicer, it didn't seem possible they were only separated by a year.

Mind you, the oldest building in Sun City is only seven years old.

I'm betting yesterday is the exact day the warranty on our apartment ran out. Within a few days, 80% of all our water-based appliances failed. The water hoses on the toilet and the shower broke, the kitchen sink faucet wouldn't give us hot water, and the laundry drain overflowed it's contents into the living room. Again. Only the bathroom faucet escaped the mutiny.

True, the laundry machine is an appliance, unrelated to the construction of the apartment, but still: What are the odds?

~Kev

P.S. Remember when Muse found a hole into the walls and lived there for two days? POOR CONSTRUCTION.

Zhangbi Aneient Castlr

2010-10-19T16:37:00.010+08:00

If you ever find yourself in Pingyao, make sure you take the half day and visit Zhangbi Aneient Castlr, about 45 minutes south in Jie Xiu. Jie Xiu itself is a craphole, with terrrrible pollution and lots of coal mining. Don't bother. Zhangbi, however, is fascinating! And for as cool as it is, there are relatively few tourists. As a bonus, the english-speaking guide was included in the modest ticket price of $9. We rented a private car to take us there for a few hours, then directly to Taiyuan for our return flight to Beijing.

Some history- Zhangbi is roughly 1500 years old, built between 420-589. Some aneient artifacts date back 6500 years. It is a fortified castlr designed to withstand an invasion. It is a fully functioning town as well and, inhabited by 2,000 people, both now and centuries ago. It's got some cool temples and aneient architecture as well, but most amazing are the caves.

Over ten kilometers of tunnels under the city have been discovered, 50 meters at their deepest point. The purpose, we were told, was to evacuate the entire city in case of invasion, giving the attackers a huge disadvantage if they were to follow. The tunnels were filled with trap doors, small nooks, and killing rooms. Passageways crossed over each other often, affording places to thrust a sword up or down at a passerby. Awesome!

Continuing on my road to stardom in China, we stumbled upon a movie set. They were making some kind of history documentary, presumably about Zhangbi itself.

I wandered on in and made myself right at home, flashing a freaky set of kev-eyes for this photo.

That's about it. I'm now caught up to things that happened two weeks ago. In current news, Super Typhoon Megi is preparing to devour Hong Kong this coming weekend, just in time for our frisbee tournament. In Hong Kong. This should be interesting.

~Kev

Pingyao (200th Post Spectacular!)

2010-10-12T09:55:00.004+08:00

The National Day holiday has come to an end, and while there was no tank parade, it did culminate with the Redneck Hootenanny. Again, China shuffled our schedules around, giving many of us the pleasure of working weekends in exchange for a consecutive 7 days off. Chinese holidays are normally a dreaded time to travel, but therese, alicia, and i decided to brave it and check out Pingyao in Shanxi province for three days.

Pingyao is famous for its old, walled city center built in the 1300's. More recently it became very wealthy when it became China's main financial center for a couple decades in the 1900's. Money flooded the small city of 500,000 and the old town got a boost of life and class. It's also a UNESCO World Heritage Site and very popular among Chinese. We knew it would be madness to travel during the holiday, but we decided to brave it anyway.

We took an overnight train and arrived around 10am, tired but in good spirits. The first day, we wandered a lot, with no real destination. Since the whole city is walled, you can't really get lost, and the four main roads (North, South, East, and West Streets) make navigation quite easy. Crowds tend to congregate in the exact middle of the city where the four roads intersect. We tried to stay away from there. We discovered countless well-preserved hutongs, courtyards, and shops, as well as good food and relaxing cafe's. We were blessed with perfect weather and good company.

Being the animal lovers that we all are, we often stopped to play and love. I think therese is happiest when she has a puppy.

We stopped for foot massages and even helped them correct their English Translations. These became Foot Reflexology and Lodging Available.

Also, haha! Chinese people love to sleep! Yay!

On day 2 we walked the wall, which affords another perspective of the city, sprawling with narrow alleys and bustling with life.

Wildly good looking foreingers that we are, therese and i garnered much attention. Tourists snapped photos such as this one, with captions that would one day read "Real Live Foreigners in Pingyao!"

At some point, i was even approached by a TV reporter. They don't often see foreigners in Pingyao, and even fewer that can speak Chinese. He wanted to record a spot to promote Pingyao, and i obliged. I said something like, "I enjoy Pingyao. The lodging is interesting and comfortable. The food is inexpensive and delicious. You can walk on the wall of the old city. I'm very satisfied with Pingyao!" ---Wǒ xǐhuan Píng Yáo. Jiǔdiàn yǒu yìsi yǒu shūfu. Cāntīng de jiàgé hěn piányi, hěn hào chī. Nǐ kěyǐ zǒu zài jiù chéngqiáng. Wǒ dui Píng Yáo hěn mǎnyì.---

I'm probably famous in Shanxi by now.

~Kev

Cleatus and Trixie Get Hitched

2010-10-09T11:03:00.000+08:00

Ken's birthday was a week ago, but we got together and threw him a redneck party on saturday. It was one of the best random costume parties in Beijing so far. Everyone got into character, spoke in a southern accent, and used plenty of white trash slang. Please read the remainder of this post in a southern accent... think Forrest Gump.

Howdy Folks! This here's a story about me, Cleatus. As you can see, i'm a handsome man, but none too bright. I ain't never won no awards fer thinkin and my momma never did send me for no book learnin. My wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead.

Sure, maybe my dental hygiene is about as advanced as an outhouse, and my breath smells about as bad... but, errr, hmmm. Forgot what i was sayin.

Anywho, this here's my girl, Trixie. She's a right purdy thing, cuter than a sack o' puppies.

Well, as y'all can see from that there photograph, i done gone and knocked her up. We's both dumber than a box of rocks. But that's fine, we's gonna get married! Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, Imma gonna havta plan a wedding! Imma gonna be busier than a cat covering doo-doo on a marble floor.

First we took us some purdy engagement pictures.

Then we call up our friends and Trixie gets her best girls over to be her bridesmaids. That there is Destinina and Leigh with my purdy fiance. That's french.

Destinina's handy in the kitchen too. She whipped up a fine batch of grits for the wedding party.

We went down to the gettin place and got some drinks. Our friends got together lickety split and we done got tore up.

Trixie is with child, so i only let her drink the nice tequila and smoke filtered cigarettes. I's gonna be a good baby daddy. I keep telling Trixie if she keeps getting drunk and fallin down, our baby's gonna come out uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits. She ain't just dumb, she also stupid. But i still loves her.

We's gonna have ourselves a honeymoon. Imma take my baby girl and our baby to the monster truck show, then we gonna go to Put Put.

~Cleatus

Stories from September

2010-09-28T01:14:00.005+08:00

It's a known fact* that during the month of september, you can only post on days that end in 8. Therefore, you're only getting three posts this month. Here's the finale, lumping many small posts into one.

The New School

A middle school opened up in plain sight of our window. Every morning, i just after therese leaves for work, they start playing music over the loud speaker. I look out, and all the kids are single file, obedient and focused. The headmaster leads them all through morning exercises, which basically consist of marching in place. He is barking out instructions, or counting their rhythm (left, right, left, right?) and at a certain point, they all respond in unison. It's eerie. These kids are maybe six to nine years old and they are actually disciplined.

Again, if you haven't already enrolled your child in Chinese classes, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start.

The New Drum

I bought a little djembe in Lombok and carried it home. When we introduced this new artifact to our house, our cats were equal parts enthralled and perplexed. The spent the better part of 30 minutes just being near it. They smelled it, circled it, rubbed it, smelled it again, watched it, stalked it, and purred at it. It was all very cute.

The Window Cleaners

I wasn't feeling too hot one day and decided to work from home. From the couch, i have a view east, of hutongs, distant buildings, and the more of Sun City. I'm sitting there working or whatever and sense that i'm being watched. I was. By three guys in soldier's attire rappelling down in front of my window.

The Weird Food Street

After two and a half years, i finally made it to Wangfujing's famous weird food street where one can find live scorpians, starfish, and seahorses (among other weirdness) ready to be grilled and eaten. As this is a largely Beijing-centric blog, i will include the obligatory eww-people-really-eat-that-crap-eww-scary photo. Enjoy.

The Other Accident

About four weeks after therese's accident, i was visited by the accident fairy as well. This past friday, after riding home from a jam session with John, my AB,D! co-star, i got hit by a car. I was approaching a blind intersection where a small side street meets a main road. There are many bikes and pedestrians around. There is a large van blocking my view of the street coming from the small road. As i approached the intersection, i watched for cars coming. By the time i could see the car, i was in the intersection, and he wasn't stopping. He hit the front-right end of my bike hard, destroying the front wheel and frame, and hurling me over the handlebars into the pavement. All things considered, i landed rather skillfully, absorbing the initial impact with my two hands and wrists. I ended up with a scrape on my left arm, a pretty severely bruised right hand/wrist, and a little soreness.

So, i'm on the ground, feeling the sudden adrenaline rush in my body. I do a quick check of my vitals: head protected from impact, no bones sticking out, no pooling blood under the clothes, legs and arms work fine... that whole process takes about 5 seconds. I bounce up from the ground like a quarterback who has just received the cleanest hit the linebacker can deliver. I am focused and furious.

I tell this guy he's a stupid idiot. He tells me i'm going too fast and i ran into him. (Side note, even if that were true, it would still be his fault. It's ALWAYS the responsibility of the larger vehicle in China.)

We examine his car. The marks on the front betray him; he hit me.

A crowd gathers. I realize people are more interested in hearing the laowai argue in Chinese than they are in making sure i'm ok. Then again, i was probably pretty entertaining. A bystander tries to breach an agreement, and the driver offers to pay for my busted up bike. We settle on 200RMB, about $30. I know that's enough to fix my bike, but i still feel screwed. I want to ask for 2,000 RMB, but i know that will only make this more of a spectacle. I take the money, lock up my bike, and flee the scene, anxious to be invisible for a while.

That night, AB,D! played an abbreviated show to a small crowd of concerned, awesome friends. My wrist was in pain by the end of the first set, but i managed a three-song second set to round out the night. By the show's end, i was seriously questioning whether it was broken. However, i think it's just a bad bruise and after resting it over the weekend, i think it will be back to normal shortly. Plus, i have more proof that my bones are unbreakable. Which is nice.

~Kev

*I made it up to justify my infrequent blogging. Hopefully next month will return to normal.

The Accident

2010-09-18T15:45:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone! I've still been lacking the desire to blog with any kind of recurring schedule, and i'm learning to accept it for the moment. Regardless, interesting or noteworthy things still happen. Here's a story from the week after we returned from Indo.

So, we come back from Indonesia and hang out for a week, still blissed-out from the awesomeness. The weekend rolls around and i'm off at frisbee practice while therese is with nina at the park. They too are playing frisbee, not far from their stuff, but far enough to get her iphone stolen from her bag. Which is a lame thing for the universe to do. But it gets worse for poor ace.

The next day, she gets hit by a car while riding her bike. It was his fault, without a doubt, and he was cool enough to give her all the contact info and agreed to cover any damages. He wasn't going too fast, but still hit her hard. She was lucky and not severely injured, nothing broken, a few scrapes and bruises, mostly pissed off and in shock. Here's what happened, courtesy of this.

The next day, he met her at the hospital to get some things checked out. Now, this guy doesn't speak a word of english, and therese's Chinese is purely for survival situations. Helen Lu (thank you so much!) had been calling the guy all day to ensure we would have no problems with him. At about 7pm, therese calls me and says the guy won't pay, and please come to the hospital. I get there and figure out the situation.

The guy is angry because therese went to a foreign hospital where they speak English, instead of a local Chinese hospital. He says he will only pay, at most 500RMB ($75) because that's what a local place would charge. His exact words were something like, "In China, we are accustomed to paying only about two or three hundred RMB for an accident like this." Therese's visit bill was 2200RMB, with another 3000RMB recommended for physical therapy. This is not a trivial amount to the average person in China; it's probably a month's salary, possibly two. The guy goes on to explain how this is all very inconvenient to him. REALLY? Oh no you didn't!

I get furious and have my first experience with being angry at someone in Chinese. Therese knew it, and the guy definitely knew it. I rattled off a rant to the effect of "You are not the one inconvenienced, it is my girlfriend who has been hit by a car, cannot walk, cannot go to work, and is in pain. None of this was her fault. It was YOUR fault. You did this. You are responsible for EVERYTHING." I was visibly and audibly upset.

He eventually agreed to pay 3000RMB, which i felt was fair, given that therese's insurance would reimburse her for the visit anyway. We could use that money for the physical therapy. Poor therese had been at the hospital from 4-9:30, and could have left at six had this guy just paid the bill. We rewarded our efforts with sushi and sake.

Now it's been about 4 weeks and she's basically recovered and the doctor says she can start running again soon. He just wants her to take it easy and not mess anything up before she's healed.

I think i can finally say my Chinese classes have begun paying for themselves!

~Kev

Post Vacation Oddness

2010-09-08T11:40:00.005+08:00

Anyone who has been worried about the lack of updates here over the past, oh, say, 3 weeks: worry not! I am safe and in good health. But i suppose there's a pitfall with traveling to faraway lands and embarking on epic adventures... returning to work and routine lacks luster. I find myself unimpressed by the normal Chinese going-ons around me. I'm not unhappy, mind you, i'm just aloof and daydreamy, slightly on autopilot. I feel no desire to blog about shopping, or interactions with locals, or what the weather was like today. Even though the weather is awesome because it's fall. We get unreal skies like these:

One interesting emotion i'm dealing with now is my reinvigorated desire to study Chinese. Maybe after traveling Indonesia and being at the mercy of those who spoke English, i'm excited to once again commiserate in the local dialect. I'm still taking classes twice a week, 3 hours total, and this is certainly maintaining my ability, if not improving it steadily. Many of my friends study 10-15 hours a week and have improved far quicker, but i'm satisfied with my current level of progress.

I've been a bit preoccupied planning for fall travels as well. I've recently bought tickets to Singapore, Dalian, Pingyao, Hong Kong, and the Philippines, all trips planned in the next three months. After that, therese and i have to think about planning our trip home for the holidays. It's all a little overwhelming, but the bulk is already set in motion.

I'll leave you with the answer to a question no one asked: What's the easiest way to buy plants in Beijing? Answer: From a dude on a bike.

Just flag them down, negotiate a price, and he'll pedal it right to your door.

~Kev

Indonesia Part 5 - The Wrap Up

2010-08-20T13:57:00.001+08:00

Seven posts later, i feel i've done some justice to recapping this most amazing vacation. There are a few loose ends to wrap up, and i'll drop them all here, with random chronology. Also, after we returned to Beijing, we were able to download therese's pictures and videos, and some of those are priceless. I'm confident nobody has put more effort into documenting the various cats found on the Lombok Gili's.

Here's the rough journey as it actually went down...

We wrapped up the dive trip and flew back to Bali. Interesting side note, in all the flights we took, we never showed once a passport or identification. Not to get our tickets, pass security, or board the plane. Here's what a normal boarding pass looks like---

--- the one piece of useful information that actually was relevant, the seat number, didn't matter anyway, as planes were open seating once onboard. Airport security in Indonesia is rather relaxed.

Ubud

Back in Bali, we spent one day in Ubud, which was not enough time, but good nonetheless. Ubud is the heart of Bali's culture and boasts seemingly infinite activities: live music, plays, dancing, opera, art, cooking classes, spas, biking, hiking, rafting, walking, shopping, gourmet food... Ubud is packed. The night we arrived, i got really ill, and suspected (still do!) that it was decompression sickness from flying 15 hours after diving. But the next day, after 12 hours of sleep, i felt great. We relaxed at a spa for a few hours, had a nice lunch, and went for a walk into the surrounding rice paddies.

And just like that, our Indonesian adventure came to an end.

But it's not the end of this post!

Drum Competition

After Gili Gede and before the Jaya Liveaboard fiasco, we spent a night in Senggigi. Giggity. Our timing was incredible, for in the nearby Mataram, there was an Indonesian Drum Competition. A dozen different ensembles were competing for a chance to advance to the finals. It was free and amazing. We arrived about an hour after it started but saw the last six troupes. The music, costumes, and dance were different in each performance, highlighting the great diversity of this country. Each performance was unique and beautiful in its own way, but two in particular really stood out.

The first was very tribal, almost African, in tone. It reminded be of dances we learned in the West African Highlife Ensemble in college. There were drummers on the floor in front of the stage, creating the mood to help the dancers tell their story of hunting and conflict.

The second noteworthy performance was a short play of a famous, traditional Indonesian fable. If you don't know the story itself, it would be hard for me to explain it. And if you do know it, would you please explain it to me?

Here's my understanding:

Scene one: King and Queen hang out for a while.

Scene two: Hot girl with impossible dancing-hand-moves shows up, and is harassed by the King.

Scene three: Giant two-person lion-dude battles the king, to defend her honor or some crap.

Scene Four: Beardy McWiseman brings his harem to the show, while freaky nightmarish demon dude harshes everyone's mellow.

Scene Five: Everyone realizes it's a huge misunderstanding and merriment ensues. Unfortunately, Nightmare O'Demonfreak still feels out of place and unloved, but later, he gets a manicure.

The Lost Chronicles of Therese

While i was busy lugging my heavy equipment around, Therese was making her own record of our journeys with her pocket camera. Until i broke it. We used her camera record videos where photos just couldn't capture everything. Click these links (hold Ctrl) for Youtube videos of Therese singing with the kids on Gili Gede and our stop during the kayak ride to Nakey Island Adventure.

Here are a selection of photos from her camera, spanning the adventure of the Gili's and Lombok.

That's all folks. Well, almost all. Here's a picture of my ass, nakey style.

~Kev

Indonesia Part 4.2 - Komodo Underwater

2010-08-15T11:52:00.000+08:00

Living on the boat and hanging out with giant Komodo Dragons was sweet and all, but the diving was life-changing. It was my first liveaboard and i can see why they are popular. If we were to dive from the port town of Labuanbajo, we would get on a speed boat at 9am, ride for 2 hours to the best spots, dive once, maybe twice, and be back on land around 6pm... an exhausting day spent entirely in the sun or on a wave-crushing speedboat. Our lives were much more comfortable than that.

We wake up at 7 and have coffee or tea and a few bananas while Willy briefs us on our morning dive. Willy was a great divemaster and a pleasant guy. He drew us diagrams of every dive site, telling where to expect strong currents and where to look for awesome sea creatures. This is Willy.

I must admit to getting along swimmingly with Willy, and we had a bit of a bromance. Handsome devil, eh? Sorry ladies, he's taken, due to marry in 2015.

We are already at the site, having either travelled at night, or the previous evening. At 7:30 we suit up and prepare to board the speedboat, and after a 5-10 minute ride, we are diving at world class sites known for big currents, big fish, amazing coral, and awesome schools.

And have i mentioned the diving is incredible? I was fortunate enough to rent a really nice underwater camera for two days. I took lots of pictures and a few videos (!!!), here's some stuff we saw-

White Tip Reef Sharks and Lion Fish - Reef sharks are pretty docile, but they will sometimes let you get really close if you catch them sleeping, like this guy.

Nudibranches - awesome psychedelic colored slugs, like a snail with no shell. These guys are small and you have to have a keen eye to find them so it's rewarding when you do. (Second photo courtesy of Jeremy Axworthy)

Morey Eels and Yellow Box Fish

Huge Schools of Awesome Fish

Check out these VIDEOS (!!!) of Giant Bat Fish and a cute little Sweetlips family.

Blue Spotted Sting Ray and weird Giant Clams

Big 'ol Squids - this guy was fun. Check out his blowhole in the second picture, that's how his propels himself. Awesome!

Dozens of Green and Hawksbill Turtles - This guys was one notable find. It was during a night dive, which is already pretty interesting. You have a flashlight, but there's no other ambient light, so you can really only see what you shine it at. I was coming up over a little patch of coral and found this guy sleeping with two Remoras cleaning his shell (first photo). He swam away after i woke him up (second photo), but i managed to get around in front of him to get that near perfect head-on shot. Win!

Here's another notable turtle that i caught on video (!!!).

Many dives were totally mind-blowing... too many to recap. But two in particular stand out, maybe because they were our last two dives, but they were also quite unique. My favorite dive was The Cauldron.

We entered at the top of that picture, and hung out at 18-25m for about 15 minutes, and we found a shark and the above sting-ray. There was a mild current, and it pulled us slowly uphill to about 12m. After cruising along for a few minutes, we enter The Cauldron, a stadium sized depression that drops to 22m, with glorious walls and a strong current (maybe 5-8 mph) pulling you through it. We swam with six sharks in there, most of them White Tip, one Black Tip. This is also where i took the above turtle video. It was inspiring to watch the sharks patrol the reef for a meal, and they paid us no attention at all. It was this dive that i worked on controlling my breathing, to see how long i could make my tank last. I stayed down for 75 minutes and came up with 60 bars left. I had never stayed down longer than 60 minutes before.

Our last dive was also really interesting, not because of what we saw, but the terrain. After a dozen dives of beautiful coral and plentiful fish, this was a stark contrast - an extremely fast current and nothing to see. We were cruising along effortlessly at maybe 15-20mph with perfect visibility, and the only thing to look at was each other and the occasional small coral outcropping. The awesome thing about it was it truly felt like flying, like we were a team of underwater superheroes. Some people were doing the superman, arms outstretched. Others were on their backs, in a reclined position. My personal favorite was crossing my legs Indian style and floating along like i was on a magic carpet. Later, i made friends with a squid.

So yeah, i think i want to do my divemaster certification in Komodo someday. It was paradise.

~Kev